I drive a car with license plates that read “DRUNK.” Interesting things happen as a result

I SK N SWL

4 words.

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Thanks… wow.

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Back in the mid-90s my Dad gave me (or “got rid of cheaply”) his well-worn '76-ish Mercury Grand Marquis which represented, to me, the wonders of Detroit/American excess. Power everything, drank gas like an automotive Bukowski, and was 19 feet long, +/- a few inches. During one of my own benders, I glued a plastic gatorade bottle (with about 1/5th of the orange liquid left inside) to the roof, just over the rear passenger’s seat. Despite hurtling along at anything above 25mph, people would still drive up and point frantically to the “forgotten” bottle and urge me to stop and get it off the roof. Middle Georgia, y’all.

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(Disclaimer, I’m a huge 007 fan.)

Best plates I ever saw, on a BMW----" DBL07Z8"

You may also like gluing mockups of e.g. Sidewinder missiles on the roof. The aerodynamic shape would not add much resistance to the vehicle and they look sleek and cool.

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I have a early 70s vanagon, and after years of answering “What year is that?”, I got a custom plate that included the year of the model on the plate. People still ask me what year it is.

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Do a lot of people come up to you and say, I’m Irish too! Disclaimer: I’m Irish, I swear, and it’s funny when we say it! Hell! it’s funny when anyone says it.

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If there are pics for each, imagine the listicle traffic that would get.

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I would be glad to publish “CARS ONCE OWNED BY DONALD”

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Maiden?

My wife’s family lived in Maine for a few years, where it seems to be against the law to have a non-vanity plate. Her husband thought that “NOT IT”, without the space, would be witty. Perhaps it was, but I could only ever read it as “NO TIT”.

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A good friend in college wanted “EXPERIENCES” but ended up with XPRNCS – which I always read as EX-Princess.

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A grade school substitute teacher had VITTU - apparently the WI DMV didn’t employ any Finns…

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My dad drives a Tacoma. As far as pickup trucks go, it’s the most disappointing one he and I have ever driven.

The stats say it should be able to tow a 15 foot catamaran without issues, but it’s torque is so anemic we get worried when we have to go uphill with half a cubic yard of chicken manure in the bed.

Perhaps this truck is just a dud? It almost feels anemic. But then again, we were kinda spoiled before. The previous truck was a 1973 GMC V8 Custom Camper, and that thing lunged like a fighting dog and we even used it successfully to pull a 10 foot long by 20 inch diameter pier set in 4 feet of concrete.

God that rust bucket was indestructible. Eventually we sold it because the milage wasn’t worth the work we were using it for anymore. Sure it can pull the door off a bank vault, but at 2-3 mpg, it was too impractical, and too smoggy, and would have cost a fortune to fix because of both the number of parts that were broken but functional and the lack of availability in our area.

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Yeeeaaahhh, the suck-ass security police (Airman Borr, go and fuck yourself especially you knuckledragging swine) at the gate I used to get on base regularly pointed out the bottle, having watched me come down an overpass to their gate, the colossal morons, but missile replicas? That probably would’ve made their day for the stomping they’d likely have doled out before my having to stand tall in front of some stuffed-shirt colonel or whatever.
I do recall being stopped by the gate guard and having my car searched–no reason was given, IIRC–and the cop found a six-inch piece of garden hose mostly filled with lead shot on the side of the driver’s seat. He accepted that it was for bludgeoning rabbits and let me move on my way.

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What year is it?

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Sorry.

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reminds me of the a first-grade joke:

guy goes to the Datsun dealership and the salesman is really steering him towards a Z. “Well,” he says “I was actually hoping to get an S-car.”
“An S-car? what’s that?”
“You know, so everyone can see my S-car go!”

it fell on deaf ears, though, since I didn’t know what escargot were in the first grade.

this must be a thing. alright, @Donald_Petersen, hop to it!

I never had a vanity plate on either of the trucks I owned, but they did have quite a bit of personalization, á-la Mr. Petersen. Currently, my “fast” bike, a blue frame with bullhorn-style bars, has a Schlitz Malt Liquor bottlecap for a headbadge.

@jlw the TV stations around here have put Dean’s “Matt Helm” movies into heavy rotation, which are awesome. He drinks and drives every time he’s behind the wheel! My, how times have changed.

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One word for this: Cheers!