I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

“Number 4 blew my mind.”

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Are you allowed to giggle while giving the password? (asking for a friend)

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I’m optimistic. It would take an unusual mixture of sadism and lack of imagination to leave a locked safe with nothing in it. So if anyone’s got a big-ass safe they no longer need, either stick the combination on maybe a sturdy piece of tape on the door, remove the door entirely, or leave it full of interesting things (not necessarily valuables).

When I built the bookshelves in the house I just sold, I left a few things stashed in the unused spaces above and below the shelves. Who knows when or if anyone will ever come across them, but one certainly couldn’t leave such spaces entirely empty.

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Many years back, a f-o-a-f was involved with a project cataloging and preserving items that had been hidden inside walls and the like. That sort of thing has been going on since pretty much we had both things and buildings to stash them in.

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I think that is actually the safe word . Rob uses a pass phrase, which, last I heard, is “Yes, Rob, you can borrow my oxygen Lance.”

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I remain certain it contains dubloons, or the deed to a sinister mansion, or that it contains a puzzle box that opens the gates of hell, or that there might be some dust, or a portal to a mysterious yet oddly Christian fantasy kingdom.

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Then you must hie thyself hence to the Locksmith with all haste!

I mean, what’s the holdup? I got a $20 contribution just sittin’ right here, if that’s the only thing standing between us and Illumination.

You did say “certain.”

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we have such sights to show you!

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Kickstarter opportunity?

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Never mind turkeys, you’re keeping credulous rubes with disposable income in suspense.

Do the right thing!

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Hey Rob, have you considered something along the lines of selling us reprobates raffle tickets to fund the locksmith? 50% of the riches (or horrors) contained within to the winner. I could really use half of nothing right about now. Or 2.5 questionable wishes off a monkey’s paw.

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Considered it? Why do you think you he started the thread in the first place?

Rob will be in deep trouble if the safe does have anything in it, hence why he’s so interested in do it yourself safe cracking methods before he calls the lockslocksmith.

:smiley:

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This?

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  • dubloons
  • deed to a sinister mansion
  • puzzle box that opens the gates of hell
  • dust
  • portal to a mysterious yet oddly Christian fantasy kingdom

0 voters

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If there’s dust in it that means there’s probably already an opening in it big enough for an endoscope.

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Mansions aren’t sinister. They are simple abodes. What one chooses to do with it could result in sinister events, but it isn’t like the mansion has a soul that is tainted.

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What, no option for “a second, smaller safe”?

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Presumably @beschizza’s significant other is aware of these shenanigans and this thread. If that were me, I’d already have purchased a smaller safe and the services of a locksmith to put it in there while he was out just for the lulz when he opened it.

Also, open the damn safe already. Gaaaah!

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That would be pretty clever. I wouldn’t put it past her.

What she’d do though is something really weird and spooky, like a faded watercolor painting of my childhood dog.

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