I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

Several houses. Flipped a few back before I got smart (fortunately I wised up before 2007)

It’s like Chekov’s Phaser. If he’s in a landing party before the first commercial break then a red shirt needs to die before the final Captain’s Log. Or something like that.

All I’m saying is that you don’t taunt the Internet with a Safe and then lollygag your way around it.

It’s only decent to tease a safe opening for at most a week or two. Maybe a month if you’re suitably clever and can keep the audience entertained.

But six months? My life is on hold until it is opened. Or something else comes along. Or I close this thread and go do something productive. Or I close this thread and just open a different BB thread.

All I’m saying is that @beschizza should really get his priorities straight. Or Not.


I dropped my wife off at work. She never reads this bbs. She turned to me, “When is he going to open that safe?”


I don’t know why, exactly, but I found this turn of phrase funny. No offense intended.


Sure, I understand that’s what a safe word is for.

But if your fantasy includes protesting and asking to stop (but not for real, please don’t actually stop just yet, etc) then having common “no, stop” style words such as “no” and “stop” being red-alert showstoppers sounds like an unnecessary complication to me. “Oops, didn’t mean STOP stop, just regular make-believe stop. I keep forgetting! Carry on.”

Then again, you could sidestep the problem by mixing things up with a thesaurus fetish. Halt! Cease! Negative, I say!



No, but i’ll give that a try! I have one!


Safe word.


Absolutely do not take a circular saw to the safe unless you have an abrasive wheel. Even then, wear a ballistic face shield and heavy leather gloves and coveralls. Really you don’t want any handheld tool; rent a jig and buy about a dozen diamond bits. Like so:

Oh, and a fiber-optic scope.


I believe he’ll be circular sawing the wall around the safe to release it.

We’ve already determined the safest and most effective way to unleash untold evil unto the world of man is by carefully preserving the safe’s integrity. That way when Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson steps up to do what noone else can or will. He’s got somewhere to re-trap the ancient demonic threat.


Still the wrong tool for the job. Sawzall or GTFO.


I prefer a sharpened stick and pure moxy, but YMMV.


Great stock answer there, I might just steal it…


Not to the safe, to the old wall around it (so I can get it out)


I do want to get a sawzall, though. Good excuse to!


I recommend a corded one rather than battery-powered.

A corded one will last pretty close to forever; mine was run over by a giant truck or something many years ago, but I had a blacksmith friend hammer the blade holder back into shape and it works fine.



I have my Father’s Sawzall in all it’s 1950’s glory. Admittedly, I should probably re wire it as the strain relief on the cors is pulling out of the ALL METAL body. But that’s just being picky.

The battery operated one that came in a kit (that my wife found on the side of the road!) is barely able to make it through 1" branches for more than a half hour.


They actually are pretty useful, and the appropriate thing to use here.

YES. The battery pack ones are trivially easy to completely burn out on hard to cut objects.

My father has one from (probably) the late sixties, he bought it used in the 80’s or late 70’s. We have thought we destroyed it a dozen times but it still kicks. None the less he has picked up a new corded one from another brand. The old one is starting to lack for power, and get a little shaky. Which we didn’t notice till we tried a new one.


If this was actually a Sawzall (Milwaukee), and it was older, it did shake. Milwaukee put out a newer model, in the 80s I think, called the Super Sawzall. It really was the same saw with MUCH less shake. A lot of people were switching from Milwaukee to other brands because they shook less.

Sawzall is a brand name that belongs to Milwaukee. Reciprocating saw is the generic name of this tool.


No its a Sawzall Sawzall, big red steel storage box and all. But it shakes somewhat dangerously now as it did not in the past. And like I said it seems to be slowing down in its dotage. We noticed it not cut as well as my brothers new plug in from another brand, even with a fresh blade. Though we were pretty sure that we killed the motor I don’t know how many times, so not all can be right inside the thing.


Another improvement that came with the Super Sawzall was adjustable “orbitability” — that is, the blade isn’t limited to simply thrusting along one axis but can be dialed to describe an ellipse. It’s more useful for wood and suchlike soft stuff than metal. Also the power cord is detachable, which for some reason I find abnormally satisfying when putting the thing away.