(sung to “The Safety Dance”)
Found a safe in my closet, it was buried deep behind
Lots of shoes and some shirts and a pair of green pants
And a blazer that wasn’t lined
Now I’ve looked all over, but the combination I cannot find
So if you read Boing Boing and you have an idea
Post it here if you’re so inclined
Cut the hinge with a grinder? Or maybe just pick the lock?
I could thread det cord through a hole in gypboard
With some C-4 in a block
This safe, gotta crack it, if I don’t nobody will
’Cause no one on Boing Boing is thinking of going
To buy me a diamond drill
Say, oxy lance, oxy lance, turn the safe into charcoal
Oxy lance, oxy lance, burn a big giant hole
When I finally crack it, wonder what I’ll find inside
Maybe gold doubloons or a rock from the Moon
Or a photo that Elvis signed
Say, what if it’s full of sand, like The Ark of the Covenant
My head might explode so I think I’ll unload
This safe to the government
Not a chance, not a chance, never gonna open it
Not a chance, not a chance, let Top Men work on it
