The safe is real, but I can’t vouch for its presence in your epistemic playpens.
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Okay, I’m officially not funny anymore. Happy now?
(Whaddaya mean, “What’s the difference?”?)
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Yup, even though the rule has already been broken. Need the whole story including contents.
Gotta make that front page!
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So…what if the contents of the safe are 6 kilos of coke from the 80s? What is Rob not telling us when he clams the safe hasn’t been opened? Could it be that he’s actually opened it already? :-/
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Rob should start a podcast about his unopened safe and call it either Safe Talk or Safe Assumption.
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Every week he can talk about different possible ways to open the safe and then, each next podcast, conclude that the method previously discussed is either too risky, too difficult or too expensive. In the very last podcast we’ll discover that the safe never existed anywhere but in a dog’s dream… :-/
(Meanwhile, Rob is driving an expensive new convertible with the the personalized plate “SAFCRKR”.)
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Who nose.
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Tonight on “Safe Space”…
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This is Rob’s Safe, not Rob Ford. He’s still dead btw.
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Well, given that Rob doesn’t know who’s safe it was, maybe it was Rob Ford’s Safe (or someone similar…) 
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“Thank you for joining us for ‘The Safe Word’”
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I’m seeing a game show idea…
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(sung to “The Safety Dance”)
Found a safe in my closet, it was buried deep behind
Lots of shoes and some shirts and a pair of green pants
And a blazer that wasn’t lined
Now I’ve looked all over, but the combination I cannot find
So if you read Boing Boing and you have an idea
Post it here if you’re so inclined
Cut the hinge with a grinder? Or maybe just pick the lock?
I could thread det cord through a hole in gypboard
With some C-4 in a block
This safe, gotta crack it, if I don’t nobody will
’Cause no one on Boing Boing is thinking of going
To buy me a diamond drill
Say, oxy lance, oxy lance, turn the safe into charcoal
Oxy lance, oxy lance, burn a big giant hole
When I finally crack it, wonder what I’ll find inside
Maybe gold doubloons or a rock from the Moon
Or a photo that Elvis signed
Say, what if it’s full of sand, like The Ark of the Covenant
My head might explode so I think I’ll unload
This safe to the government
Not a chance, not a chance, never gonna open it
Not a chance, not a chance, let Top Men work on it
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This is beautiful and will go in the Official Safes Open post when I write it.
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You can lance if you want to, you can burn your way inside
But your friends won’t lance, and if they won’t lance, well they’re only people from online.
Everybody take off your pants.
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No need - I’m working-from-home today.
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Anyone started a thread on that?
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