I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

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I’m sorry! We’re all sorry! We’ll try to suck more!

Want to hear some Dad jokes?

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We are faced with one of two possibilities:

  1. The safe is unopened. Rob @beschizza will never open it.
  2. The safe has been opened. Rob @beschizza will never tell us he’s opened it.

Therefore, Rob is keeping us in a perpetual state of not knowing whether he has opened the safe, so when we think of the safe, we think of it as simultaneously open and closed, similar to Schrödinger’s Cat being simultaneously alive and dead.

I’m naming this paradox Beschizza’s Safe.

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There is no safe.

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The safe is a lie?

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We are IN the safe.

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The lie is a safe.

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The safe is real, but I can’t vouch for its presence in your epistemic playpens.

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Okay, I’m officially not funny anymore. Happy now?

(Whaddaya mean, “What’s the difference?”?)

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Yup, even though the rule has already been broken. Need the whole story including contents.
Gotta make that front page!

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So…what if the contents of the safe are 6 kilos of coke from the 80s? What is Rob not telling us when he clams the safe hasn’t been opened? Could it be that he’s actually opened it already? :-/

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Rob should start a podcast about his unopened safe and call it either Safe Talk or Safe Assumption.

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Every week he can talk about different possible ways to open the safe and then, each next podcast, conclude that the method previously discussed is either too risky, too difficult or too expensive. In the very last podcast we’ll discover that the safe never existed anywhere but in a dog’s dream… :-/

(Meanwhile, Rob is driving an expensive new convertible with the the personalized plate “SAFCRKR”.)

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Who nose.

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Tonight on “Safe Space”…

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This is Rob’s Safe, not Rob Ford. He’s still dead btw.

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Well, given that Rob doesn’t know who’s safe it was, maybe it was Rob Ford’s Safe (or someone similar…) :smiley:

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“Thank you for joining us for ‘The Safe Word’”

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I’m seeing a game show idea…

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