If it’s a cursed desiccated monkey paw just make sure not to make any wishes while holding it.
11 Likes
ROB! CALL THEM BACK! Tell them you’re busy! Make something up!
ROB!
ROOOOOOOOOB!
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“Rob was on his hands and knees, groping wildly on the floor in search of the paw. He heard the creaking of the bolt as the security technician opened the second inner locked compartment, and at the same moment he found the monkey’s paw, and frantically breathed his third and last wish.”
The End
18 Likes
We all know the story of Pandora’s Safe, don’t we?
9 Likes
26 Likes
A mall cop is never gonna get that safe open.
19 Likes
He could have called the weird tinker with the shop/junkyard outside of town. Doesn’t every town have one? He wears coveralls and has a tremendous beard. His truck is more rust than metal, but he’s a mechanical genius. He’d totally get it open, but he’s also not the kind of guy you typically invite into your home.
6 Likes
We all have to marry the guy to get satisfaction? 
7 Likes
I have one of those guys but he never seems to be able to help me repair my lawnmower and refers me to “the Koreans” down the road.
Maybe lawnmowers are beneath him.
5 Likes
Only if you’re Christian. 
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Phew!!
6 Likes
And in the new series - which for some reason they’re calling Maigret and setting in France - Rowan Atkinson can’t seem to make a single joke funny.
3 Likes
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Watch out! The BBS has paid him to kill you and take your share
13 Likes
“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.”
- George Savile, 1st Marquess of Halifax (who I’m sure would have added “or woman” if he hadn’t lived in the 17th century).
11 Likes
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I’m in too deep
I’ve opened up my eyes now
'Cause now I understand how
It’s easy when the fear is real with the fear
I cannot sleep
Walking in a dreamland
Wishing I could feel shame
'Cause there’s nobody else to blame nobody else
3 Likes
At 1:28 PM PST Rob said a technician was on their way. It’s now 3:44.
I’m so nervous. How do we know we can trust this “technician”?
16 Likes
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Are you worried that Rob is now in pieces small enough to fit inside a safe?
I’m sitting here figuring that he’s trying to find a way to make utter disappointment interesting.
16 Likes
