I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

Has Rob been looking for old journals and tomes of research scattered around his house? Has he been fastidiously flipping switches and pressing buttons and then wandering around his house to see if any new areas have opened or any mechanisms been activated?

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Please unloch.

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Here, this is how you unloch:

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Please John Locke.

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The Cheetus LIVES!!!

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From the technician’s perspective:

Note the safe to the right and Rob down the hallway.

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a Panzerschranksollbruchstellenverursacher would soothe the restless and agitated open-the-safe-NOW crowd here

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Do you think we’re being impatient? It’s been 9 months… :wink:

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If it was a baby it would’ve been induced by now.

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I saw that there were 64 unread posts on this thread. I panicked, fearing that at last, the wheels were turning, and I had missed that moment of revelation.

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It’s okay. Just post some snark and we’ll all get through this together.

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Oh, it’s hopeless. Nobody can out snark Rob! Trying to is like sending kindergartners against The 300.

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Caesarean.

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It’s quite possible that, even if the ‘safe’ is supposedly ‘opened’ the populace will decry it as ‘fake news’ and refuse to accept the alleged reports as anything other than a Chinese hoax.

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that shot is probably the best thing about Locke’s character arc.

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Never look away. Once you’ve peered into this thread madness snark will consume you. For the safe’s opening will perpetually be just barely out of reach.

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Do not drink tea from the Putin teapot that may be found in the safe :open_mouth:

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Nah, I think we’re OK. Polonium only has a half-life of 138 days, so even though the FSB clearly would have laced the teapot with a lethal dose back in the day, it’s all probably decayed to (relatively) harmless 206Pb by now.

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