I found a locked safe hidden at the back of a closet in my new house

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Canā€™t wait for someone to post the headline for 2017 ā€œBlog Editor Fools Readers Into Thinking He Will Actually Open Safeā€

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... we shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.
-- Monica Crowley
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Iā€™m pretty sure that was Melania Trump.

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Or maybe?

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Is thatā€¦
Is that a bundle of sticks!?

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Careful now.

https://discourse-cdn-sjc3.com//boingboing/user_avatar/bbs.boingboing.net/teknocholer/120/169262_1.png

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Yes! Flexible, fragile, breakable sticks. But bound together?

#UNBREAKABLE!!!

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Little known fact: thatā€™s not really a jackhammer:

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No safe at any speed.

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Is Rob really going to get a locksmith to work on the Day of the Inauguration? Shouldnā€™t that be a national day of mourning that everybody gets off? On the other hand, if there is going to be a tradition to follow at home on Trump Inauguration Day, breaking into a safe is probably a pretty good way to go.

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Iā€™m going to bed now. When I wake up, I expect to see:

a) an open safe, or

b) a lot of excellent sarcastic gifs.

Do not disappoint me, magic intertubes.

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