That would totally get me.
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Sounds like it’s time for the housesitter had a heart attack prank
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you have no idea how happy this makes me. 
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I always wanted this…
Johnson Smith Fun Catalog 1979
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A number of years ago I “rediscovered” a toiletries kit under my sink. One of those leather things your grandma or an aunt gives you when you graduate that has a comb, brush, nail file and shoe horn. (Because you’re going to dress in a suit and need to be impeccably dressed when you go to the office I guess.)
Anyway. So in the toiletry kit is a little sample size can of shaving cream. “Shit,” I thinks, “I’m pretty sure I got this in a box of samples at the CMU book store in 1995.” I shake it. Try it. It works.
Notice a little thing stuck to the concave bottom of the can. Pick at it.
A little rubber plug!
A little rubber plug that was plugging a hole in the bottom of the can!
The hole used to FILL the can.
It immediately starts spewing a fine stream of shaving foam. And spewing. And spewing . . .
Fortunately, it only filled the sink. But man, if the can was full-size and full . . .
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“Eeek! I’m allergic to peanuts!”
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I wouldn’t know I only use a badger hair brush and shaving soap.
Shaving cream from a can is soooooo ordinary.
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That could make for a comical 4th Indy Movie.
And Harrison can crash fly the plane.
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Honest, never really noticed the little plug before then. I usually lather up with ordinary soap in the shower, after getting my face good and wet. (With the water off while actually shaving!)
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Friend of mine had a rubber mouse rigged in his candy dispenser. When you reached to collect the candy, the mouse sprang out.
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Get a shaving stick. A brush helps but your fingers will do.
(Comes in various “flavors.”)
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LESS THAN 50% PEANUTS.
Aww, c’mon. guys. It actually says that on the tin. There has got to be a way to make it 50% snakes, and pack out the rest with peanuts.
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Nope; here in Rhode Island, they’re stocked by pretty much all the liquor stores. They’re my go-to beverage snack.
And the Beer Nuts almonds – my gawd. Sooo good.
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I’m truly a mayo fiend, but even I wouldn’t be able to stomach that.
Synanon-flavored, with 100% less rattles.
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I’m tired of these mother fucking snakes in these mother fucking cans!
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Either that, or he had the munchies, and the weird flavors of chocolate, caramel, peanuts and mayo might’ve been a delightful treat for this taste buds.
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Not a real hipster until you contract anthrax.
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