Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/11/08/possibly-nsfw-a-gadget-that-i.html
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Just look at it. Seriously just look. Do not do anything else.
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“Insert / remove the tool”
The 12yo in me can’t even.
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Push tool into end of banana
Well, this is sounding more delicious by the minute…
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Repeat step 3
Repeat step 4
Repeat step 3
Repeat step 4
Repeat step 3
Repeat step 4
Repeat step 3
Repeat step 4
…
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Are the results different depending on which end you stick it in?
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Amazon and Youtube thought this product was needed in my life.
The best review I found was this one
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Great! Let’s add more sugar to the sugariest, least beneficial fruit there is! I’m sure those kids aren’t getting enough already! /s
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Chocolate syrup? Yes please!
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I don’t think I’ve ever heard them referred to as yumstations before, but I like it! I’m going to do my best to help it catch on!
Two days later, nursing a black eye- On second thought, perhaps it would be better to let the popular vernacular develop on it’s own.
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This looks like an Obvious Plant creation. See, for example…
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The Amazon affiliate link in the original post suggests that Obvious Plant is missing out on huge profits by printing what he thinks are jokes but could all be real Boing Boing Approved Amazon products.
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“Banana Surprise”
“Put banana in the Yumstation”
…
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just looking at it… also, “put banana in yumstation”… is someone bugging my bedroom??? what? j/k
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Yeah, bananas are so dang sweet on their own that adding chocolate syrup or caramel sauce or whatever just about pushes it into “so sugary as to be inedible” range.
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Part of a long tradition of phallic toys for tots…
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The following links are to Wikipedia articles, but could still be NSFW.
Also for your consideration, perfect for advanced figging.
As a kid my parents liked to give us access to more information on a topic than anybody needed. This included introducing us to every major religion in the world so we could choose our own paths, and illustrated books about sex that simultaneously horrifies and give the giggles to my sister and I. (Those smiling cartoon characters of adults having sex, the horror, the horror…!) The real problem wasn’t the information it was my parents wanted a particular reaction, and we did not give them what they expected or wanted.
Fast forward to the mysterious book that appeared on the bookshelves when we entered puberty, Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex, But Were Afraid to Ask (1969 edition) Yellow and black with some red lettering it was wither a wasp of knowledge or something so poisonous that we were going to with the knowledge.
It was a good technique, rather than talk to your kids, put books about the subject on a shelf. The down side, it did not engender conversation. Hence when we go to the part about urethral stimulation for pleasure, it would have been nice to have had an adult say, “I too find it terrifying, but some people don’t.” or “I’ve never heard of it.” Some of the information was so dated that we just wrote off perfectly good information because the book, a supposed authority, was just wrong. (It was hell wrestling though that book with dyslexia.)
Fast forward to my late teens and twenties. I spent way too many hours at coffee houses, and still do… humm. There, immersed counter culture and the dregs of humanity, with many friends that did various forms of sex work, I learned that figging (see above) is a thing. Not just that, but people pay money to have the experience.
At this point in my life, I have friends that are nurses or MDs in the ER, that work as paramedics or work for 911/999. What I can say is this: The product is being delivered right now from Amazon via the Postal Service to somebody’s house that doesn’t have any intention on using it for filling bananas. Later on tonight they will go to the ER, and the staff likely will already know their name. Depending on the relationship, they may get a lie about what happend, or they too may learn of the Banana Surprise.
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“Now, it’s quite simple to defend yourself against a man armed with a banana. First of all you force him to drop the banana; then, second, you subject the banana to the Banana Surprise, thus inducing confusion and horror. You have now rendered him 'elpless.”
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Big Banana has your name now buddy…
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