If there's a nuclear blast, "do not use hair conditioner in your hair"!

boing
21

uh, I was kind of counting on that, actually…

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22

There’s really no excuse for a nation who maintains a nuclear arsenal:
They are the epitome of cruel weaponry, salting the earth for eons and causing nearly incurable sickness for those that survive the initial blast.

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23

Now this, this sold TVs.
Perhaps I can force back the flux of particles by smiling so brightly they go right on back.
[[SOLIPSISM. I DUNNO ARE YOU FOOLING THE SIMULATION YET?]]

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24

Haha , joke is on … ermm you? I’m bald

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25

I can’t even believe we’re having these discussions again after what, 50 years. I thought leaders around the world had sort of recognized that actually using these things is really stupid.

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26

Silly you.

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27

Correct. Too sticky.

All of this is, in itself, solid advice - removing radioactive fallout particles from your skin and hair will reduce your exposure.
Won’t matter all that much, though, if
(a) you are not in a “clean” zone after having that shower
(b) while getting to the shower you have breathed in fallout particles

You can wash off particles on your skin. You might be able to flush out particles you have ingested. You can’t get rid of particles that have entered your bloodstream via an open wound and you cant’t get rid of particles that are lodged in your lungs.

I’ve been looking at this in the 1980ies for the first time. In my opinion you have two valid options when nuclear weapons are used:
(1) be close enough to ground zero to be either vapourized by the blast or at least killed instantly by the shockwave
(2) be far enough away from ground zero to avoid the fallout completely
Everything inbetween means you are fucked; the only variable will be how long it will take you to die.

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28

To paraphrase a current world leader, why do we have the things if we don’t use them?

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29

vitamin D too if sunscreen is a no no

30

duck. cover. rinse. repeat.

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31

Yup.

Basically all this advice is and always has been intended to try to give people the feeling that there is something useful they can do. Keep them reasonably calm, keep them busy.

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32

Getting back to the original talking point - would conditioner actually help if we were to get our hair mussed?

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33

In a Non-Nuclear Cold War, how many times do you suppose the US / Soviets / PRC would have had a shooting war? Awful though they might be, they’ve prevented total war like nothing else. Happy for an arms control regime that drops our numbers to the mid-100s, but a non nuclear world is far less stable and in all events not possible.

34

but…but…but…if I don’t use conditioner I’ll have a bad hair day! Oh, the humidity!

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35

In the event of a nuclear war I would probably not want to live in a post-apocalyptic world, so I am living in a large city-target just to make sure I am included.

36

I used to live reasonable close to a military installation that was boud to be at least a secondary target, but it was closed down.
Damn those peacemongers!

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37

An acquaintance lives a few hundred yards from “Site R” (Raven Rock) And that place merits a groundburst or two.

38

Shooting wars between the large powers will never happen: they each own too much of each other now.

39

Don’t worry, you won’t be tanning in the nuclear winter

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40

What’s the threshold for nuclear winter, in Megatons exchanged? And will a strike on Guam exceed that threshold?

Sagan’s 1983 paper: