It hasn’t happened to me recently, but I remember times before our kids were born when my wife and I went to the mall together for some reason or other. Maybe to pick out a microwave or something. Christmas shopping for nieces and nephews. Anyway, at some point we’d end up in the Women’s Apparel section, or near enough that she’d remember she needed something, or discovered an interesting sale, and so we’d duck over there for “just a quick minute” to try on “just a couple of things.”
And an hour or two later, we’d be done. I made every effort to avoid audibly complaining, since it really only happened five or six times in the ten years we’ve been married.
I consider myself lucky that MrsTobinL pretty much already knows what she wants when out shopping and all the times I have been in that situation it was never long while she was making sure of the fit and I was along cause we were gonna do other things together before/after said shopping.
I don’t really know, because when I have to buy things, I’d rather go alone. I don’t enjoy the experience, so the idea of dragging someone else along seems kind of ridiculous.
Yeah, I think that’s part of my confusion: it looks like the men are sitting in either a mall or a large department store. Why would someone just sit there waiting for an hour? There’s got to be someplace more interesting to spend that time if you’re not actively shopping together for something.
I’d say the majority of the time they’ve been informed that the other half will ‘only be a minute’ and they’ve reasoned they’ll just wait so they can continue on with the rest of the joint enjoyment of the shopping trip. Only to have that ‘minute’ stretch on longer and longer. The fear then becomes… if I step away to do something else, she’ll suddenly be done and I won’t be here at which point I’ll be yelled at. So long and short: Conflict avoidance keeps the man sitting outside the shop.
I’ve gone furniture shopping with an SO before. I had useful opinions for about an hour, after which my energy levels that allowed me to care were exhausted. I told her so, and sought out the nearest chair. No hard feelings.
Thankfully, she did not seek out my input on shoes, she would just buy them. (And then not wear them… Whatever man, not my paycheck.)
Yes, it happens all the time. But it is never malicious, just someone gets caught up in something they enjoy. Dudes do it to women all the time, dudes do it to other dudes, women do it to other women. It is very equal opportunity.
Shoe shopping is one that irritates me, bit that’s because I have giant mutant feet. So my SO looks for shoes that look good, and I root around for the one pair that will simply cover my feet hands.
The consolation is when I find a pair, I make them look good.
Oooohhhh…so it’s like that time some family friends took me to a quaint little estate house “museum” in Scotland and said they were too old to walk around, and besides they’d been there dozens of times already…and when I got back to their car, bright and chipper about how interesting it all was, they told me I’d been gone 3 hours. (Oops!)
I guess the confusing part for me was the idea that someone would so enjoy shopping that they’d lose track of time and the person waiting for them. But: chacun à son goût.
I rarely enter the local mall (I really hate shopping), but when I do, inevitably there are men sitting in chairs all over the building. I don’t know who these cruel women (and probably some men) are that drag their other half, knowing they will end up in one of these chairs, but I do know I’m not one of 'em.
If anything, I’m the one getting dragged to the mall while he shops for clothes.
@L_Mariachi: Please tell me more of this procuring of beer at the mall.
Believe it or not, that made me sad. Let me explain: it reminded me of my best friend and her husband, who are also of the type to say “I’m going shopping. Can you think of anything I need to pick up on the way? And do you have an idea when you’ll be back from hanging out with your friend(s)?” The perfect relationship; the kind of relationship I always think of when discussions about how couple relate come up. And then just last night (after about a year of increasingly difficult issues) she told me that it’s official; the marriage is not going to make it, after nearly 30 years and two children. I’m so brokenhearted for them. Now whenever I hear of couples who work well together, I’m going to think of them and despair.
