Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2017/02/08/internal-tsa-files-reveal-that.html
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TSA stands by its Behavior Detection capability.
Pray, just how many terrorists have they intercepted lately?
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All of them, of course.
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On the plus side, there’s the non-negligible chance that whistlers will be shot and killed as they approach the screening officer. See, always a silver lining …
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Yet again, the only thing between me and 1 billion dollars is ethics.
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Internal TSA files reveal that they have no evidence the $1B “behavioral detection” program works
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Internal TSA files reveal that they have no evidence the $1B “behavioral detection” program works
Pshaw! They’ll just recoup that in tax savings.
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Bernardino. If we’re gonna make fun of their spelling, we should try to get it right.
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Same. Godamn conscience, what the hell good are you in today’s world?
Also, reread that number: One Billion Dollars. Gone, and just like that. Can’t wait to see how much trump will steal without us knowing about it.
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I hereby resolve to do as many of the things on the list as reasonably possible while standing in airport lines.
Maybe we can eventually get the list changed: “Find the one person who ISN’T yawning / pacing / sobbing / fiddling with electronics / vomiting in terror / telling you to fuck off and mind your own biz. THAT’s your terrorist.”
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I hope they did not forget to teach the agents to have an eye out for “lugging a large bomb around”, “cackling maniacally”, “having an eye patch and stroking a large white cat while smoking a cigar” and “wearing an imposing, black helmet or steampunky mask that makes your breathing sound funny”.
Or is that “improper attire”?
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Y’all just might be a terrorist if…
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I can simplify this for them:
1 - Investigate any nervous-looking brown person.
This is the one rule that has been in place since late 2001.
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A proper bomb, mind, round and black with a fuse sticking out the top and the word “BOMB” printed on it in big white letters.
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A classic example of government corruption. If they had a competitive, open, bidding process, I could have provided them with a behavioral detection program with no evidence that it works for half the price.
(Total cost: 20k for a designer to make a pretty front end, with a spinning wheel. Back end goes to random.org.)
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Oh hey, there’s a surprise.
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File next to the dowsing rod that finds bombs.
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I cannot overstate this:
MUSTACHE TWIRLING.
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It’s like the old British guide to “how to recognise a letterbomb” which included such sterling advice as:
“Be alert for protruding wires or ticking sounds”
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Israel supposedly has the most effective airport security and supposedly ask people lots of questions and pay close attention to them as they answer. Anybody know if that is true and if so, is this what TSA is using? When I cross the border between USA and Canada, I have to answer a few questions and the border person seems to be watching me closely as I answer. Are they using these same methods as TSA or different? Is this all just security theater or is there some kind of valid methodology but TSA is messing it up?
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