iPhones hate helium


Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/10/31/iphones-hate-helium.html


Who doesn’t?

I mean it’s always so high and mighty and all “Oh, I’m so noble, bow before me, peasant!”…


So that’s why everyone who calls me on their iphone talks in a high, squeaky voice.


He boils at -268.9 °C - Do people expect electronic devices to work after exposure to “Near evaporating” liquid gasses?


Sure, if you aren’t a clown working the children’s birthday circuit.


“Nothing’s worse than Helium poisoning, the shrill squeaky scream as your iPhone dies. That’s a sound I’ll never forget. Pour me another Louie.”


“Near” meaning “in proximity to,” not “barely evaporating.”


I never really thought about this. I’ve used my phone near NMR machines (the technology MRI is built on) to no ill effect but then again, I’ve never been near anything like a quench. I do have my phone in my pocket near loads of evaporating nitrogen, so it’s weird they generalize like that. Fun fact: you’re exposed to “near evaporating gases” all the time. Only helium and maybe hydrogen tend to cause this kind of issue. Solvents and water vapor aren’t going to do this, and most phone these days are pretty resilient to either.

I do. If you’ve ever made tea, you’re exposed to a near-evaporating liquified gas. The word “exposed” does a lot of work in this context. No one is dunking their phones in liquid He.


It does say “environments having high concentrations” - The phrasing really messed with me - “exposed to environments” followed by “near evaporating liquified gasses such as helium” really made me think of dewars of liquid He and clumsy iPhone users.


So “near” was redundant give the "Exposing iPhone to environments " earlier in the sentence. The phrasing messed with me.


See, I read it as “near evaporating,” but still got the same sense you did. Apple needs to hire an English major.


And this is why the USS Akron crashed.


Sooo… they’re saying they can make them thinner, but not lighter?


I misread that as “hate-helium,” which as we all know, is the gas with which the President is inflated.


But how can I check my social media while cruising on my dirigible?


Remember: “Don’t bring your iPhone down in your bathysphere”-- gotcha.



Unlike the USS Shenandoah, which was consumed by local cannibals after landing in Ohio. (The storm was a cover story.)


ISTR playing in a horror RPG that took place on the Hindenberg


I wonder what sulfur hexafluoride would do…