Irish Goodbye = French Leave = English Departure = Polish Goodbye = Dutch Leave

Originally published at: Irish Goodbye = French Leave = English Departure = Polish Goodbye = Dutch Leave | Boing Boing

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Old Carl Reiner joke (or possibly something that predates him):

“What’s the difference between a Jew and a Frenchman? A Frenchman leaves without saying good-bye, and a Jew says good-bye and never leaves.”

(As someone with some French ancestry by blood and Jewish family by marriage it’s ok to repeat that, right?)

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The “Irish Goodbye” was a mystery to me too. I think I heard it for the first time maybe three or four years ago.

For me at least goodbyes are very drawn out affairs. Even hanging up the phone can be lengthy, so I always found the TV no-goodbye hang-up to be quite jarring.

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Many phrases like these seem to arise from wartime situations. During the eighteenth century when Britain was regularly in financial competition and often at war with Holland, we have phrases such as “to speak like a Dutch Uncle” (to speak severely) and “a Dutch Treat” (where you pay your own way), and even “a Dutch Oven” (an extra large pot). The British have always had a habit of slagging off the opposition, as witness the words to “Colonel Bogey” and the enduring canard of Catherine the Great having intercourse with a horse (entirely untrue). The English have weaseled “welsh” (or welch) into the language - to renege on a bet or debt - and also “scotch” - to summarily put an end to something. That’s not a direct result of war, I don’t think - just casual nationalism. As is the American useage of “an Irish Goodbye”. Unpleasantly close to racism, IMO, but then, I’m Irish.

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Don’t forget “Dutch courage”, meaning courage gained by drinking alcohol.

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Essentially, everyone hates their neighbours, and thinks all bad habits come from them.

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Liam-neeson-bye-bye-bye-meme

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Leaving a party without saying goodbye isn’t a very nice thing to do to a host with social anxiety. I will spend at least a week thinking I offended you terribly.

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A Dutch oven was so called because it was cast in the Dutch manner (in a sand mould)

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I used to call it the “French Goodbye”, but then I started hanging out with a fairly large group of French people and they take forever saying bye! Try leaving a party and they all have to say good bye to everyone with hugs and tears. It takes forever.

So now its the “Irish Exit”.

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Maybe we can just assign it to a fictional culture. A Klingon Goodbye for example.

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The Quartz article I quoted in the post described the French variant as:

The Oxford English Dictionary traces “the French leave” to as far back as 1751, from an obviously useful text called, The polite politician: or, entertaining correspondent. “French Leave is a phrase we had often in use, When one slily elop’d; nor left coin or excuse,” it says. “French leave” has also historically been an American-ism, but it seems to have fallen out of use. The “Irish goodbye” only began appearing in US newspapers and pop culture in the last eight years.

The French, meanwhile, give credit to the English: “partir à l’anglaise” or “filer à l’anglaise,” or “to leave the English way.”

In Marcel Proust’s In Search of Lost Time , written toward the end of the 19th century, the narrator remarks:

«Je vous suis, me dit-il, mais nous ne pouvons pas partir à l’anglaise. Allons dire au revoir à Mme Verdurin, conclut le professueur. …

or:

“I’ll follow you,” he told me, “But we can’t leave in the English way. Let’s say goodbye to Madame Verdurin,” concluded the professor.

Gotta love that “But we can’t leave in the English way.

A Klingon Goodbye sounds like it requires blood in some form or another, or a battle to the death ala Stevie Griffin.

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Then a Vulcan Farewell, because saying goodbye is an emotional thing. Illogical too, they’ll figure out you’ve left eventually, why announce it.

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That could also be:

“I have a very specialized set of skills…”
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“Hello? Are you still there?”

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im out michael dorn GIF by HULU

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Vulcan Farewell sounds like a good name for a drink at an aviator bar since we’ve used them in so many fighters over the years:

https://www.nationalmuseum.af.mil/Visit/Museum-Exhibits/Fact-Sheets/Display/Article/579640/m61a1-vulcan-cannon/#:~:text=In%20service%20since%20the%201950s,M61A1%20in%20an%20external%20pod.

Pick Up Hello GIF by The Drew Barrymore Show

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Perhaps falling out of window is Russian Exit now. Yes?

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With the Midwestern corollary of getting your guests to leave:

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