Originally published at: Is Bros the worst Michelin-starred restaurant on Earth? | Boing Boing
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So many great lines in that review.
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You don’t pay for the food; you pay for the well-earned derision of the staff.
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Well, I was going to say my experience at Dill was pretty underwhelming for the hype (and they would not accommodate a vegan option, which they had in the past). But this is definitely worse.
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My husband just went to a 2-michelin-star restaurant in Chicago last week (Ever), and while his experience wasn’t like this, it was his opinion and his friends’ opinion that it wasn’t worth the money and fuss. Everyone was overdressed (except for his party, which made them feel singled out), the food was extremely expensive, and it apparently just wasn’t that great.
Food can only really get ‘so good’ imho. Once you hit that relatively low ceiling, you then can pay for better service and the experience in general. That then only goes so far, too. I’ve always been curious about molecular gastronomy restaurants - apparently Alinea in Chicago is actually a charming experience - however I mean, do I really want to eat celery foam and peanut butter aspic with a drizzle of aged balsamic vinegar? No, I want to eat ants on a log because it reminds me of my childhood.
The fanciest restaurants I’ve ever been to had good food that was presented attractively, waitstaff that were friendly and helpful and yet unobtrusive, and the atmosphere was fancy without being “you need to be in black tie or you feel like you made a mistake”.
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Curious what restaurants you and/or your husband would recommend in Chicago, then.
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I didn’t know that The Onion actually ran Bros and is fucking with people.
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More like Clickhole
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My husband just went to a museum in Paris last week (The Louvre), and while his experience wasn’t like this, it was his opinion and his friends’ opinion that it wasn’t worth the money and fuss. Everyone was overdressed (except for his party, which made them feel singled out), the art was extremely expensive, and it apparently just wasn’t that great.
Art can only really get ‘so good’ imho. Once you hit that relatively low ceiling, you then can pay for better black velvet. That then only goes so far, too. I’ve always been curious about modern art - apparently Banksy in England is actually a charming experience - however I mean, do I really want pictures of rats drawn with spray paint on a wall? No, I want pictures of clowns on black velvet because it reminds me of my childhood.
The fanciest museums I’ve ever been to had good exhibits that were presented attractively, and janitors that were friendly and helpful and yet unobtrusive, and the atmosphere was fancy without being “you need to wear a t-shirt and shoes or you feel like you made a mistake”.
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I’ve had varying (mostly good) experiences at Michelin-star restaurants, but even the worst ones were never as awful as this. I will say that the bad ones all shared this place’s tendency toward both arrogant service and foam-based micro-dishes.
Internet reviews are a thing now and if I’m going to an expensive restaurant you can bet I’ll see what people have to say about it. If I hear that a restaurant not serving decently sized portions* of quality food, is not creating an interesting or relaxing atmosphere to enjoy it in, and is not doing its best to be hospitable to its guests, no amount of Michelin stars is worth spending what will no doubt be a commensurately large amount of money on the cheque.
[* note: does not necessarily mean American-sized portions]
@edrowland: The experience of being disappointed in a Michelin-starred restaurant is more akin to being promised an exclusive evening guided tour of the Louvre in formal attire by one of the museum’s experts and instead being handed off to a long-serving janitor who rushes and chivvies you past the great works of art and then out the loading bay door before handing you the exorbitant bill for services (“payable now, monsieur”).
Only a sucker or snob (or masochist, though I won’t kink shame any who go to Bros) pays through the nose to be treated like garbage.
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I get the impression that the Michelin stars are more of a draw for tourists. People who live in a city will know what the best restaurants in the city are, and local food guides will prove more useful.
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Interesting to see that The Stanford Prison Experiment maintains its use as a reference point even as the experiment itself has lost quite a bit of luster over the past few years.
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Oh, you want low art. I recommend McDonald’s, or Burger King if you feel like having your food cooked with Real Fire™️.
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Doesn’t that seem kind of pompous? That their assumption is that everyone else at the restaurant was wearing the wrong clothes, but their party was appropriately attired?
Cringey. 
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@grachus: Fair point. Great service should definitely count toward Michelin stars,. I think it was “Food can only really get ‘so good’ imho.” that triggered me. :-/
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Chili Mack-n-Chez for dinner tonight, no hifalutin Michelin epicurean culinary delights tonight.
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M and C with a home fired steak. 
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Hm, good food IS really, really GOOD food. Those of us who try to make it often
meet with mixed reviews. Or always.
There are those of us who don’t appreciate it when they get it.
There are also those who recognize when it’s not.
It is not a thankless task, it is a task with, um, intermittent thanks.
Anyways, cheers!
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The best fine dining joint in Chicago closed. Blackbird was the best compromise of highly technical execution with impeccable service in a friendly and boisterous environment.
Outside of that, Smyth is fantastic. Brendille is also great. There’s a caviar joint in UKV that’s worth a stop just for kicks.
Ever is also wonderful. Duffy knows what he’s doing.
But Chicago’s best food will always be the bone in pork chop sandwich from Jim’s Original or a Mr G from Grazianos (Bari’s gone downhill in the last couple years).
Source: Me, a retired Chicago chef with a few *s
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