Itunes terms and conditions as a graphic novel in many cartoonists' styles

Originally published at: http://boingboing.net/2015/11/02/itunes-terms-and-conditions-as.html

Sorry, still couldn’t read them.

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The itunes TOS and user agreement for 2015 is 229 pages long. They’ll probably have iterated it by two versions before he’s done graphic-novelizing the current agreement.

ETA:
Upon further inspection, the English version’s only 7 pages (A4/Letter) in small print. So, not exactly 229 pages.

Still, it ought to be legally implausible for clickwrap like this to be binding at all. You can’t expect anyone to understand these licenses unless they’re a specific kind of lawyer anyway. If Apple wants to explain to me the terms and conditions in language that isn’t designed specifically to be opaque to the consumer, then I might agree. Might. But there’s no way I agree to clickwrap if I can help it. And in the case of itunes, everyone actually can help it.

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Actually, only one page, if the type is small enough. And the page is a postage stamp!

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“But the plans were on display…”
“On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
“That’s the display department.”
“With a flashlight.”
“Ah, well, the lights had probably gone.”
“So had the stairs.”
“But look, you found the notice, didn’t you?”
“Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying ‘Beware of the Leopard.”

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Who will join me in performing a dramatic reading of the iTunes TOS in front of the Wolfe Road Ranch 99 this weekend?

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But the text here is completely arbitrary, it could have been Lorem Ipsum…I was hoping for at least a metaphorical graphical representation of the terms themselves. An illustration that linked text to image in a way that made you actually pay attention to the content and it’s inherent ridiculousness. This just makes you look at the deviant-art-esque “familiar character in different styles” with zero incentive to read or understand.

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Heck, I can do that…

  1. Give us your money.
  2. We may, or may not provide you something in return.
  3. If we do provide you something, we can take it back whenever we damn well please, without notice or compensation to you.
  4. By agreeing to these terms you forever surrender, for yourself and your estate, any remedy in a court of law.

EDIT: To be fair, nothing about the above summary is unique to Apple.

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Oh, jeez, I adore the Fiona Staples/Saga page.

This is fucking brilliant.

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Still, I’ve now read more of it than I’ve ever read before.

I completely agree. I was disappointed that the pictures in most cases had no relation with the text. I mean it was cool and all but I was hoping for some actual cohesion.

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