"J.R.R. Tolkien" explains why the Fellowship didn't fly the Eagles to Mordor

Originally published at: "J.R.R. Tolkien" explains why the Fellowship didn't fly the Eagles to Mordor | Boing Boing

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Well done, enough that Puls had to post a debunking video

EDIT: YouTube was kind enough to direct me to

and their other conversations.

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What people dont know is that this is also Tolkein’s voice. He made a self-debunking recording just to stir up controversy. Puls stumbled upon both recordings in a box in his attic.

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He could have just been like

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Wasn’t it made pretty clear that avoiding the eye of Sauron was top priority? I’d assume that a giant flock of giant eagles would be noticed.

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Prometheus: I hate the fucking eagles, Man

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Imgur

Oglaf made it pretty clear :slight_smile:

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aha… well y’see, you divide the eagles into a decoy maneuver to direct The Eye in the wrong direction whilst a single stealth eagle (wearing Elfen forged jodhpurs) makes a long circle from the south with laser guided hobbit(eses) beneath each wing as it cruises over Mt Doom. (can you credit that this is an actual extraction of the conversation between two Tolkien fan boys faithfully recounted from oh… about 12,000 years ago? 's’trooth!)

Extra credit Tolkien quiz! Which pair of these five edifices are The Two Towers referred to in the second volume’s title: Cirith Ungol, Orthanc, Minas Tirith, Barad-dûr, or Minas Morgul ?

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Even if Sauron saw them coming he still had limited anti-aircraft capability. As long as there were enough eagles to overwhelm the Nazgul’s Fellbeasts then dropping the ring into the volcano from above was still the best play.

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Btw. I can only recommend watching all her stuff. She is probably my favorite comedian at the moment.

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Assuming the eagles cared enough to risk their lives on such a venture. Gandalf may have been their friend, but maybe not a “possibly be savaged by Sauron’s legions” kind of friend.

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But they DID demonstrate that they cared enough to risk their lives for such a venture, they merely waited until the last second to do it.

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Easy answer, they didn’t want to.

Its like wondering why you agree to give a friend a lift to a store but won’t go on a 3 day road with them.

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I think its a matter of degree. For the eagles it was a quick pickup to get old buddy Gandalf’s companions out of immediate danger. They didn’t sign on for a massive quest at huge personal risk.

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But they were fighting the Fellbeasts and everything in the final battle scene. Basically all the Fellowship needed was for them to do exactly what they did, just two-and-a-half books earlier.

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So they needed to work up the courage or see the threat to their own interests. It took them 2.5 books to do it. Lots of allies join a fight late (see Blucher at Waterloo, the US in both world wars…)

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Blucher?
frau-blucher-gif-4

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GANDALF: “Oh, my mistake. I thought you were the King of the Eagles, not the King of the Chickens.

FELLOWSHIP: “Oooooh burn”

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Birds and shiny things, it’s never a good mix.

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Besides, how do you turn “And they flew into Mordor and dropped the ring into the fires of Mount Doom, the end” into a three-book deal?

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