J.R.R. Tolkien on the intensity of elf sex

Wow, she should really dump that human. He’s kind of scummy. Luckily his life span compared to hers makes this like a month-long fling for her.

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Not surprised. The original name of Celeborn (husband of Galadriel) was Teleporno. Seriously.

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If Winter isn’t coming, then the elves are. There, I said it.

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The original Wait staff.

you shall not pass the lord of the rings GIF

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The Nature of Middle-earth is an interesting book. On the one hand it is undeniable that the bottom of the barrel has well and truly been reached. For example it contains page after page of Tolkien’s arithmetic trying to make sense of elven ages and lifecycles. But on the other hand unlike some of the recent projects of the Tolkien estate it is not just known content in a more accessible package. It contains some seriously weird and wonderful bits. Where else would we learn about the dancing bears of Numenor or the politics of the very first elves under stars on the shores of Cuiviénen or the elven baby talk for fingers and toes? (Spoiler: father, mother, brother, sister, baby)

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But the entwives all went away. :frowning:

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That really makes it sound more like they were, um, quick shots? One and done? Over before you blink? A lot of fancy words about and excusing the lack of staying power?

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Methinks I’m probably too sober for this topic.

I can fix that…

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Via Eleanor Morton:

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My vegetable love should grow
Vaster than empires and more slow;
An hundred years should go to praise
Thine eyes, and on thy forehead gaze;

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Kenan Thompson Reaction GIF by Saturday Night Live

Intense as in causing property damage and innocent bystanders to flee?

via boingboing

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According to Google Translate from Elvish to English, it just says “rule 34”.

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