Ja Rule has plans for to Fyre up another music festival. Seriously.

#1

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/02/15/ja-rule-has-plans-for-to-fyre.html

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#2

Someone needs to teach these guys the difference between “plans” and “intentions.”

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#3

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#5

But this time - a cruise!

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#6

Or “plans” and “ongoing criminal conspiracy”

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#7

I was thinking a Zeppelin would be appropriate.

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#8

A fresh crop of suckers turns eighteen and signs up for their first credit cards every day!

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#9

Or the Towering Inferno! (For billionaires only. Fire stairs sold separately. Additional terms apply. Attendant must sign the waiver without reading the terms and conditions.)

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#10

Burning building with micro-transactions. That is very 2019.

The fire is free to play but the fire extinguisher will be a small extra charge.

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#11

God damn, Ja Rule is stupid. Like, just the dumbest.

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#12

Listen, if any of you business geniuses have a better way fo Ja Rule to use other people’s money to buy a bunch of coke and hire models to pretend like they’re having fun with him, he’d love to hear it.

Seriously, he’d love to hear it. It’s a pretty good gig.

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#14

They should really play up how good it will be this time.

“Way, way better than the last one. Total improvement.”

Really sell it.

Then, cancel it the day before…

Summary

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#15

WCGW?!?!

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#16

I can never get enough Archer.

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#17

Honestly, a cruise would be a much better fit for the organization.

The Cruise line would handle the logistics, the guest services, would price the event, and would handle the facilities for the entertainment. There are actually cruises for a bunch of different subculture events, such as the Star Trek cruise, the Goth Cruise, the EDM cruise, and so on. The hosts generally handle the musical acts and promotion, and the cruise company handles everything else.

It seems that the booking of the guests and hyping the festival were the Fyre folk’s strong suits. Actually living up to the hype, doing the logistics of hosting so many people, handling the business arrangements around paying for the stuff for the festival, getting the festival grounds ready, actually making sure you had enough tents, beds, houses, toilet paper, bathrooms, basically everything actually related to getting the festival ready was where they fell down at.

Sadly, the “Fyre Cruz” probably has well-meaning but unintentional political connotations…

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#18

He’s fifty years too late.

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#19

Festival man burns you!

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#20

Yes, from a practical standpoint, a cruise has a better chance of meeting the basics event needs.

But that is boring.

:fire: Zeppelin on Fyre :fire: says this is the best last festival you will every attend.

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