What, you don’t think staff masturbate in the office? Some supply closets are famous sites.
No wonder I’ve never gotten along very well with the typical workplace culture.
And not to end a kinkshame with a preposition, but if someone’s sexuality can be adequately expressed that way their job probably isn’t the only thing they are very very bad at.
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How can you establish a transformative hermeneutics of quantum gravity,m if you can’t transgress some boundaries?
Seriously, what is this “healthy set of boundaries” cliché? Sounds like self-help poppycock.
Gold.
First tip from the article: consider not being a cis man:
while being a woman or queer may result in misogyny and increased danger, it will reduce your likelihood of exposing your genitals and incidentally sexually harassing people who don’t want to see them.
When given the choice, women and queer professionals often choose to masturbate before work begins or after it has ended, so not being a man might help reduce your risk of being caught masturbating on Zoom
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The worst thing that came to light in my workplace was a disgruntled employee urinating in the stairwells.
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In this case, the “healthy set of boundaries” is literally a physical boundary… i.e. keep it in your comfy, telework-appropriate clothing.
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Maybe he should have bought one of those instead:
Fidget toys are made for relieving anxiety and stress, but there’s a very ephemeral quality to finding fidget toys that actually do the job. […]
But the best ones slip into your hand almost unconsciously, providing a very soothing tactility and ease of use that actually does bring reassurance and calm without the user often even realizing it.
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Jeffrey Toobin Was Allegedly Sexually Inappropriate Long Before He Jerked Off on Zoom
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Now working the register at Dick’s.
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Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out on a Zoom meeting.
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This one works really well with the new caption game:
Jeffrey Toobin took his dick out at a Zoom meeting.
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We did it. We found the worst possible take.
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Who wrote that? Louis C K?
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Ho. Lee. Shit. It starts with this:
So let’s suppose Jeffrey Toobin had been caught on camera having sex with a partner instead of touching himself.
Um, I’d rather not, but that would still be very inappropriate for the meeting he was at…
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I can genuinely say that I have never rubbed one out at the workplace or during a conference call.
WTF is wrong with some dudes.
(Yes, I specified dudes; women rarely ever seem to get caught doing this kind of crap.)
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Goldfinger is being generous.
Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. The third time it’s mysogynist action.
Yes well I believe there are tools and an app for women so in theory it is easier to hide.
I still don’t get it. (The masturbating at meetings not the remote control vibrators) I mean who thinks that is a good idea. (Yes the answer is dudes) Are these guys so desperate to get caught or just so self absorbed that they think they can do it with no consequences?
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An “app?”
Dude, I dont even want to know.
Regardless to the idea of ‘being able to get away with it,’ the thought to pleasure myself in an inappropriate setting would never even occur to me in the first place.
Call it biased but I’ll say it again; whenever you hear about these incidents of people exposing themselves or masturbating publicly, the culprits are, almost without fail, male.
Now whether that’s because society isn’t built to facilitate and enable women the way it is for men, or whether it’s that female sexuality and the expression thereof has been historically villainized and demonized throughout human history, I couldn’t say…
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One day we will will have an equal society where men and women of power will equally be able to masturbate openly at their meetings and the rest of us will still be saying “Ewww. No.”
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