Jeffrey Toobin suspended after exposing penis to colleagues on Zoom

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2020/10/19/jeffrey-toobin-suspended-after-exposing-penis-to-colleagues-on-zoom.html

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Small claims court

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What a wanker.

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Put tape or a square of Post-It note over your camera.

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Or you could leave your dick in your pants. That’s worked for me.

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I was worried the 2020 neologisms were (er…) petering out, but Zoom Dick is one for the ages. I think any future “accidental” exposure of your privates, whether or not there’s a dick involved, should be “Zoom Dick”

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The question remains; “If there was no COVID-19, would such an exposure eventually ‘come to light’?”

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“Who can you count on to not show you their penis?”

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“Woops! Sorry, I thought this was Chat Roulette.”

(is that even still a thing?)

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Assuming this was a genuine mistake and not yet another privileged white guy compelled to show his junk, he’s been on TV long enough to know that he should assume every camera or mic is a live one.

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At least he doesn’t seem to be claiming that he “accidentally” exposed his penis. He may have shown it to an unintended collection of people, but there are very few circumstances where you could honestly describe exposing your penis as an accident.

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Thank you!

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Not me. I take mine with me when the pants come off.

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Pants?! During a pandemic?

Seriously. I might be wearing sweatpants, shorts, or ripped jeans to my zoom meetings, but the idea of talking to my colleagues while even half nude is unpleasant.

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Slightly related: I had a colleague last week in a zoom seminar spend an extended period vigorously scratching his thigh under the table. I’m pretty sure that’s what was happening. Shortly afterward he got up and walked away revealing that he was fully clothed. The unknown of why he was staring vacantly while repetitively cycling his arm under the table was bad enough.

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That’s what sh… oh, nvm.

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This is why you should always keep yourself in closeup (neck up) or medium closeup (shoulders up) for these meetings. The tighter the shot, the less potential embarrassment (unless you have acne)

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So, Jeffrey was Tube-ing whilst on the tube… I’m sorry. I couldn’t resist. Please forgive me. I’ll show myself out.

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Not only is this witty, it worked! She got elected

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