Jesus appointed me House Speaker and Moses, says MAGA Mike Johnson (video)

[howie_hunter]

Definitely Morgan Freeman.

[sdmikev]

@euansmith

I know it is bad form to speculate on people’s mental health; but, for fuck’s sake, either this guy is a liar or delusional.

< insert “why not both” gif here >

[Nicholas_Marshall]

The Problem isn’t that he Talks to invisible men.

It’s that he thinks those invisible men are Talking back.

Someone should check that no one has a Ultrasonic Audio Laser pointed at his bed.

[catsidhe]

“No no no, it was Jesus who was talking to me! He told me he was Jesus: why would he lie about that?”

[danimagoo]

“Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain”

Go to hell, Mike.

[anon76551318]

MIKE: I just got a message from Jesus!

ME: Christ?

MIKE: And guess what he said he wants me to be!

ME: What, an asshole?

[RickMycroft]

[DasKleineTeilchen]

@tcg550

What are the rules to believe someone spoke to Jesus vs. no, no you didn’t

tribalism. plain and simple.

[RickMycroft]

Why would Jesus lie after he took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their splendor?

[the_borderer]

So does this mean that Mike Johnson is going to lead the Republican Party into 40 years in the wilderness? If he really wants to lead his people in an Exodus then I’m not going to stop him.

In fact can he hurry up and get the fuck out of here? We aren’t going to stop them, like the pharaoh did. There’s no need for the plagues.

[Ed_Beaty]

Yeah, it’s a red sea moment, alright.

[dabeyc]

kevin, wait! we know you were a double talking, spineless snake – but let’s talk this out! because this new guy? hoo, boy.

[Mindysan33]

Why does Jesus has 3 arms? And why is he sitting in a grotto?

@the_borderer

So does this mean that Mike Johnson is going to lead the Republican Party into 40 years in the wilderness?

[Patrick_Clifton]

Or lemmings down the drain.

[Simon_Clift]

@Purplecat

Hopefully, it means you’re going to lead your followers into the wilderness for forty years.

Um, yeah, hang on a minute. I’m all in on the sentiment, but the only flooded border crossing that meets the criteria would be the Detroit river or maybe Lake Erie.

This is payback for exporting Rafael Cruz, isn’t it?

That’s “Ted” to most of us, reportedly since he was 13, anyhow, but apparently he doesn’t like people using names they choose themselves…

[howaboutthis]

[bobsyeruncle666]

@evadrepus

@IronEdithKidd

has many late night conversations with an invisible friend, and those conversations are full of delusions of grandeur.

“I hear voices in my head”

“Yeah buddy, most people just call them ‘thoughts’.”

Sure, but consider the party. It would be perfectly understandable that such a thing, “thoughts”, would be so unfamiliar, incorrectly identified and unfairly given any credibility.