Originally published at: "MAGA" Mike Johnson thinks his god gave him the gavel - Boing Boing
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I’m really sick of the christo-fascist dipshits.
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It must have been Loki.
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Can we start calling him MAGA Mike XXL now?
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Surely a congressman has the sort of insurance that would allow him to get vivid auditory hallucinations looked into and treated appropriately, no?
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wow, talk about an ego. he’s not fitting that through the eye of any needle.
also, i’m trying to imagine a modern disciple conducting an interview:
q: dear god, what would you consider your three biggest accomplishments to date?
a: well, now. i created the universe, from nothing you see. ummm… rainbows. quite pleased about those, actually. oh, and, i made mike johnson speaker of the house in a country called the america. or, wait. maybe, sin and eternal damnation. geez, that last one is hard
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It is not my original observation, but isn’t it interesting how frequently God tells the christo-fascist exactly what they want to hear?
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I dunno, I would think if God was going to encourage someone to take a position of power, it would be someone who would actually promote caring for your neighbor, taking care of the poor and sick - you know - Christian policies. 
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It never fails to astonish me that in the span of 15 years we’ve gone from people like Cheney and Rove being the bleeding edge of the right wing spear to being considered the adults in the room. It just keeps happening - how did John Boehner end up on the outs of this party? He’s a bloody tobacco lobbyist now for crissakes! Even that lickspittle McCarthy was excommunicated. In another 15 years I hope we’re not looking at Mike Johnson and thinking “Gee, here’s the voice of reason in the Republican party.”
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You are right, we never hear about the Jonahs saying “fuck that!” and running away to Tristan Da Cunha.
But maybe that’s because they all said “fuck that!” and ran away to Tristan Da Cunha.
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Rule: If someone says that they were chosen by God, they weren’t chosen by God.
(and I’m pretty sure you can take that rule as true whether you believe in God or not).
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It must be really nice to live through life believing that god just so happens to want all of the same things that you do. Why, I’ll bet that it’s the same feeling that god has when he’s holding a gun.
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Anyone who believes God has literally spoken to them is probably insane. Anyone who believes God “told” them something (without literally hearing it) is, at least, an unreliable witness. The rulebook itself spells it out: No one can know the mind of God, except through Jesus’s teachings, and I don’t recall the Bible ever mentioning Congress.
“For what man knoweth the things of a man, save the spirit of man which is in him? Even so no man knoweth the things of God, but the Spirit of God.”
– I Corinthians, 2:11
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To quote Roger Waters “what god wants, god gets.”
So if/when he loses that gavel, that’s also god doing it kiddo.
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Nothing says “Word of God” like 220-209.
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Maybe God wants him to be like Moses - Dead.
That would be an expected outcome for a Christian God to do toward someone who claims to follow Christian God, but does not actually follow Christian God.
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In Exodus God wanted the pharoah not to release the Hebrews, hardening his heart against the idea, since he had a few more plagues he wanted to unleash first. That’s the only version of him I can see picking Mike Johnson.
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I looked at the photo for a minute wondering how Sodium Chloride fit into the picture. Are they the result of being turned to salt?
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Except those are Jesus policies - different!
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