Judge orders man not to brag that he threw an iguana at a Perkins restaurant manager

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/08/08/judge-orders-man-not-to-brag-t.html

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Well he’s getting publicity from this so, he’s winning?

Christ, what an abusive asshole

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That won’t stop Copper from swaggering about.

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The judge also entered a handful of other stipulations.

It’s nice to see a judge who actually recognises when he has a raging arsehole in the dock, anticipates all the dick moves he’s planning on making, and treats him accordingly.

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I’m wondering whether it’s less anticipation and more reaction to things he’s already done.

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Maybe it’s anticipation of things he’s already done. Wait … that’s just called “memory.”

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I’m all in for support of the (allegedly) hurled lizard!

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How about the restaurant? Can they capitalize on it? “Special - Iguana-burger & fries!” ; “Iguana bacon and eggs w/toast & home fries.”, “Iguana - the other white meat…”, the list is endless.

They should buy all 33 made by Iggy Pop, from The Idiot onward and put on display in the restaurant, and of course play them on the PA.

This will be absolutely the Iguana restaurant.

I don’t know where it landed, but now it’s on the menu!

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Can iguanas regrow their tails like some other lizards can?

I guess there won’t be a “Perkins Restaurant” song, then, where there’s a bit that goes

“what are you in for, kid”

“I threw an iguana at a guy”

“what’s the charges, kid?”

“disorderly conduct… … … … … … … … and resisting arrest

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Perhaps Mr. Teeter could be a candidate for a Red Flag law in Ohio… https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Red_flag_law

No need to go all the way to Tijuana (eating barbequed iguana) when they serve a hand tossed variety in Ohio Perkins restaurant(s)!

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Can the judge silence the guy like that? He’s not allowed to post his grievance on 8chan ? He can’t hang out at the bus stop and engage people in regards to his experiences ?

I’m no expert, but I gotta think that stipulation could be tossed in court, it doesn’t seem reasonable - not at this level. He’s not going on about White supremacy or getting into hate speech… he doesn’t like Perkins, join the club !

I have to say I kind of agree with you. As much as I wouldn’t want to listen to some asshole recount the time he chucked the iguana that trusted him at another person I’m less excited about a judge telling him he can’t talk about it.

I’d suggest that he just can’t monetize talking about iguana-tossing.
“No one tosses a dwarf lizard!!”

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They wouldn’t want to. There’s another regional chain, the Winking Lizard which makes iguana stuff a big part of their branding.

The judge can place any kind of restrictions on him that he wants if he sentenced him to a year, then granted him probation. That’s literally the definition of probation. If the lizard-chucker gets caught violating any of the judge’s orders, it’s off to visit the judge again, who can certainly throw him in jail to serve the rest of his time behind bars.

If the guy doesn’t like it, he’s capable of exercising his right to free speech and telling the judge to piss off, and see what that gets him. Pro tip: don’t do this.

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