Originally published at: Judge planned to try cocaine before ruling on cocaine possession case - Boing Boing
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“You do coke, judge? You’d be a whole lot cooler if you did.”
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Uh, Judge? Your personal experience with it has absolutely no bearing on whether or not it’s illegal.
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I wonder if He has ever judged any homicide cases…
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“i’ll just make my own constitution with hookers and blow!”
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In the end, I think the attempt by the judge to dismantle the drug war and push back against the second prohibition era is probably more significant than the splashy headlines.
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I read this is Norm Macdonald’s voice. RIP man
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I’m curious whether the judge was really so naïve about the potential for fuss; or if the potential fuss was the point.
Cocaine is only schedule II; so if he had someone cooperating on the medical side they should have been able to accommodate without too much difficulty.
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Only when high on cocaine.
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Did one of the four sections of a high school anthropology sociology class group oral report on cocaine, on cocaine.
Got an A+, too, I did 
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Was being on cocaine part of the report, like did you tell them? Or was it just a little side bonus?
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Thank you, darlin!’
It was my sociology class, now I think about it, and I was 17. It was '83 or -4. I was attending Grosse Pointe South high school, one of Michigan’s top public schools, in expensive & conservative AF Grosse Pointe Farms.
My hair was purple, and I wore stuff that was as far from preppy as one could get.
I had told my fellow group members, as we each decided which aspect of the subject we would cover, that I would interview someone I knew who’d tried coke, and ask about their experience. Those straight kids were shocked. “You know someone who’s tried it?!” I assured them I did, but didn’t mention that I’d tried it myself once before, nor that I’d be interviewing My Mother. I also didn’t break their hearts by telling them the entire much-beloved football team was seriously into it.
The night before our report was due, an old BF of mom’s showed up, with a bottle of wine and probably an 8-ball of cocaine.
Yes, that.
He gave me a paper plate with two faaaat lines on it when I was heading to bed. I took it from him w/shaking hands, and just set it down on a dresser before trying to sleep. All speedy drugs wire me to an absurdly ridiculous degree, so I got abt an hour’s sleep.
Bleary AF, I arose and somehow got my shit together. Before mom drove me to school, I inhaled those two fat lines, numbed me gums, and was instantly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, ready to give my 1st hour report.
Everyone did an excellent job. I was proud of them. We got an A as a group, and our individual grades were an A-, two As, and my A+. The rest of the group complimented me on the thoroughness of my interview and the info I provided. They felt that mom’s saying she’d so rarely done it b/c she’d never believed it wasn’t addictive, given that she always wanted more whenever she’d had it, was esp important. Other kids even came up and thanked me! Those rich preppy snobs gen’ly ignored me, so it had really meant something to the whole class.
I must say, I had a really hard time not giving the game away! I really wanted to say at some point, “In fact, I had some just before school. The only negative effect is wanting to pace V quickly back and forth, despite this - now painless! - badly twisted ankle,” but I didn’t.
My grades in both soc and anthro were always As and high Bs. After getting yet another C on a test on which I’d got yet another 100%, the girl next to me, who was usually on the dean’s list sort of thing, exasperatedly asked me how I did so well in those classes. My flunking everything else was common knowledge, and my “peers” underestimated my intelligence by degrees of magnitude. But she’d truly asked in good faith, honestly, and w/o insulting me. The rest of the class turned from their tests to us, and the teacher was all ears. I answered her with equal honesty. I explained that I very much enjoyed both subjects. I care about people, people all over the world, and find humans fascinating. I want to know what makes them tick, and learning about new cultures and how people live and work together is very satisfying. I told her I’d been really into Ancient Egypt since early childhood, which laid much of the foundation for anthropolgy’s being of interest. Unlike pretty much any other class I ever took in school, I loved the homework, the reading, even reviewing my work for the tests!
The kids were surprised and confused. Doubtless future “young republicans,” they couldn’t understand how or why anyone would care about somebody halfway across the world, let alone across Alter Road, in Detroit. Our wonderful teacher just smiiiiled.
That was the last semester those courses were offered. He also taught history classes, but in a staff re-shuffle that was thoroughly stupid, our teacher was let go. We all expressed shock and dismay. Everyone, even the kids who weren’t doing so hot grade-wise, loved him. He obviously loved us - esp Your Humble Narrator! - and the subjects he taught.
We were all heartbroken. I went up to his desk, as many had done after our last class. I told him I was very sorry they’d treated him so shabbily, and he thanked me.
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I never really saw what the big deal is about it or why it’s illegal, but liquor gets a pass. Weird country.
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