Julian Assange's demand for an English translator that speaks Australian causes everyone's eyes to roll so hard that it makes the earth bleed

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/10/27/julian-assanges-demand-for-a.html

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What’s worse? a few years in an EU jail, or almost a decade as an unwanted guest in an Ecuadorian embassy?

They cut his internet because they want him to fucking leave and deal with his shit. The next step is filling a garbage bag with his stuff and putting him out on his ear, with the bag following.

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Apologies to Fosters Beer.

Assange- that’s Australian for asshole mate!

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They hold the cat out. “The cat stays with us!”. They pull him in and slam the door.

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They’re so desperate- they might just move the Embassy and not tell him. Let the new owners deal with the problem.

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In Sweden prison is pretty comfortable and personally I would have chosen it over the embassy. And even if convicted he’d very likely be free by now. Moron.

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Hey maybe @Wanderfound can use a side gig? He speaks english pretty good.

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Perhaps he can make a deal with Elon Musk for a one-way ticket to Mars, and thereby satisfy all parties?

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Not if he is/was extradited to the US, where a contingent of folks still want him tarred and feathered.

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See, finishing a sentence or whatever and moving on to be a free citizen somewhere is meaningless to this guy. He’s just going to be a bad room-mate somewhere else. You can all see for yourselves that he never goes outside.

It’s far from certain Sweden would have extradited him, but by skipping bail in the UK he’s basically assured it. Another brilliant move.

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Put him in a van and drop him off at Scotland Yard. Problem solved.

Don’t even need to do that. The Ecuadorians can simply shove him out their front door, he’ll be instantly arrested by the British police standing outside.

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I don’t think he’s going to get his damage deposit back, at this point.

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Whenever I watch an English language movie I always have to make sure it has subtitles written in proper Canadian.

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I don’t suppose it matters that Assange did not ask for an English translator who speaks Australian.

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Swedish justice is lenient, and in this case the prosecutors would probably have gone with a lesser charge if they decided to pursue the case. So as a first time offender I doubt Julian faced even a year in prison if found guilty (and that’s a big if, as previously only HIV-infected people have been sent to prison for sex without a condom).

In the UK he faces a maximum of one year in prison for failing to surrender to bail. The baseline punishment is 40 weeks imprisonment as laid out in the sentencing guidelines, but some of Assange’s behavior would count as aggravating circumstances.

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It was a rape charge, with force involved.

It was Assange’s lawyers who characterized it as only “Sex without a Condom”, because, well, they’re his lawyers.

Having said that, it’s true he would probably be free by now if he had gone to Sweden then.

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Assange was wanted for questioning, no formal charges had been laid. Also note that the prosecution office vacillated over whether to investigate the matter or not. One prosecutor said yes, another prosecutor overruled the decision but ultimately it was decided to start the investigation. So there’s clearly much uncertainty over whether what happened could lead to a conviction.

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Colombia?

I’m being serious, the Colombian Embassy shares the building with Ecuador.

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