you sound like an awesome parent!
I do okay. Sheās eighteen; sheās got every right to go have a beer and play pool. What of it?
That was a great article, Maggie, and some of the comments were interesting too. Itās a little scarey how short the window of opportunity is to effect change in violent behavior.
Well, see, a while back, the universe magically changed, and now even though it was perfectly legal and OK for me to drink at age 18 and nobody was harmed by it, today the kids have to be 21 or society will totally go Zero Tolerance on their asses.
Youāre in Britain, though, which is a backwards country, so this fundamental change in the nature of the universe probably hasnāt been noticed yet. Give it time.
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Sheāll probably be back home by thenā¦
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I meant my comment sincerely.
I agree that an 18 year old has āevery right to go have a beer and play pool.ā ( or at least should: the drinking age where I am is 21) In the California suburb where I live, most parents would be freaked out by your statement, which is sad. I wanted to publicly, non-ironically, positively call out someone for being a sensible parent.
I am sorry that my word choice seems to have ruffled your feathers.
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Fair dos mate. Iāve been reading that bitcoin thread too long. Iām all twitchy, with a thousand-yard stareā¦ 
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Well, we do get a lot of irony here.
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Yep! Fully agreed! At two, they are experimenting awkwardly, but very physically. At three, they arenāt quite done with that yet, but now they are going to get busy also experimenting socially. And, frustrated!
And all roads lead back to the old nature vs. nurture question. Though it should probably be, internals vs. externals. Because, you can take a mega-brat and put them in a controlled environment like a good pre-school or a Montessori school where everything is built for their skills and abilities, and they will turn into utterly indie little polite darlings, forming little activity groups on their own. Five minutes out the door in the afternoon? You may get the Tiniest Hellion of the Year Award all over again. Not due to bad parenting - just the uncontrolled environment meeting a three-year old brain. Put that same child with a sitter or grandparent? Angel again. The miracle of relative unfamiliarity and uncertainty tames the beast. Can make you feel undeservedly lousy about yourself as a parentā¦
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Well, yes. Your average two year old is, in effect, a solipsistic sociopath.
Iāll echo that. I had more days during the 3s where I questioned my ability to be a good parent. 2s were sweet, cuddly and lovely. 3s were like living with a drunken wolverine tied to your neck. And that was on a good day. Thankfully it passed.
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I always feel better when thereās a nice science-y explanation for things I find unsettling. Like small children.
Oh, shit.
Well, our not quite 1 year old is awesome.
Iām sure heāll stay like that forever.
Yeah, thereāll still be shit somewhere in the mix, tooā¦
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We were pretty lucky, our kiddo rarely threw tantrums. And when she did, she did it with flair. I had a melt down at the zoo as I wanted to apply sun lotion on her. I had not one, but two people comment on how adorable she was while she was in the middle of a tantrum. If only we could harness her powers for good.
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I have four nieces and nephews over the age of 3. They all have wildly different personalities but not one of them went through the Terrible Twos. If anything, a couple of them are currently more violent at ages 6 and 8 than they were at 2 or 3. I reject the concept of Terrible Twos entirely. If it seems to exist itās only because people expect it to.
Actually, weāve been pretty lucky in that department. Our two-year-old decided that enough was enough and potty-trained herself. With essentially no effort on our part.
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Oh itāll get better. The crappy days are wellā¦ crappy but there will be incredibly awesome days that will make up for it. As for shit, I must admit though we were pretty lucky in that regard that all bathroom issues were well under control by that point.
1 was awesome. 2 was incredible. 3 was tough. 4 is fun.
