The English language does not exist. It’s badly pronounced French.
Cerquiglini attributes this bon mot to Georges Clemenceau.
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There are some Irish older names which I think really deserve to be resurrected.
Top of the list are
- Fear Dorcha = “Dark Man” (yes, that’s a personal given name in its own right)
- Fear gan Ainm = “Anonymous”, literally “Man Without A Name”. (Yes, also a name in its own right.)
- Fear gan Eagla = “Fearless man”, literally “Man Without Fear”
Just to show that they were actually proper given names:
Annals of the Four Masters an.1538.4:
Fęr Gan Ainm mac Fir Dorcha Méc Cochláin tanaisi Dealbhna Ethra
Anonymous, son of Dark Man MacCoghlin, Táinist of the Delbhna Ethra (in Offaly)
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I counter with
The thesis, if I can dignify it with such a term, is that things don’t change. (He calls this philosophy “Applied Epistemology”, which exists and does not mean what he says it means, because he says it means “What was, still is”.) That English has always been English, as we understand it now, eternal and essentially unchanged. He continues to claim that Latin never existed as a living language, and that all other languages that can be connected to English (including French and German) are actually descended from English.
I don’t think I can express how utterly bonkers this book is. And from an exchange I had with the author in the comments of a review of it (oh god was that fifteen years ago already how the hell does linear time work?), it’s not a hoax, and it’s not a joke, Michael J Harper is deadly serious about this nonsense.
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But that is patently untrue, because if you live long enough, you’ll see new works and usages introduced INTO the language… We can all think of examples of new terms and usages, I’m sure.
Are you sure it’s not a parody?
Well… okay then.
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I hadn’t read that review comment section exchange in a while (because it was fifteen years ago, why would I?), but going back to it: Mr Harper hasn’t left it alone, he’s been going back, most recently in 2021, talking about the followup books he’s published where the main theme is that all the records we have of how English has changed over time are forgeries.
All of them. From Beowulf to Pepys. His continuing argument is that every single document which proves him wrong is a later forgery.
If it’s a bit, then he’s committed to it for the long term.
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OMG, but this is like… actually, a really good illustration of gender bias… Remember the tik-tok person who claims that the Roman Empire wasn’t real? I bet she never got a book deal!
Kaz Rowe did a video including that woman…
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and Cerquiglini is observing that English speakers have ransacked French for useful vocabulary.
Incidentally,
Richardson Chief Justice de Common Banc al assises de Salisbury in Summer 1631 fuit assault per prisoner la condemne pur felony, que puis son condemnation ject un brickbat a le dit justice, que narrowly mist, et pur ceo immediately fuit indictment drawn per Noy envers le prisoner et son dexter manus ampute et fix al gibbet, sur que luy mesme immediatement change in presence de Court.
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Prologue to the Canterbury Tales, ll.118ff
Ther was also a Nonne, a PRIORESSE,
That of hir smylyng was ful symple and coy;
Hire gretteste ooth was but by Seinte Loy;
And she was cleped madame Eglentyne.
Ful weel she soong the service dyvyne,
Entuned in hir nose ful semely;
And Frenssh she spak ful faire and fetisly,
After the scole of Stratford atte Bowe,
For Frenssh of Parys was to hire unknowe.
There was also a nun, a prioress,
Who was simple and modest in her smiling;
Her greatest oath was only “By Saint Loy!”;
And she was called madam Eglentyne.
Full well she sang the Divine Service,
Intoned through the nose very politely;
And she spoke French, very well and carefully,
after the school of Stratford-at-Bow,
For the French of Paris was to her unknown.
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MJ Harper:
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the French culture is so in tune with aesthetics and the finer things in life, probably more than most. and yet, they somehow think that speaking like you have severe allergies or a nose clogged with snot sounds the coolest. I’ll never understand that, although we all have our quirks. English pronunciation is certainly quirkier to an ESL, I’d imagine.
I wonder if the Gauls always spoke like that or if they switched when they adopted the Latin vulgate.
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Tír gan teanga, tír gan ainm! Indeed.
As I quoted above:
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And that is why, everywhere colonial powers went, they sought to destroy local languages and force the colonial language on the population…
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April Fool’s, I’m guessing.
Cannot even imagine the French dropping the letters that are not pronounced.
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Oui
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Yup. This would mean the French counting like the (French-speaking1)) Belgians, and we all know that ain’t gonna happen.
1) Let’s not get into the Flanders vs. Wallonia debate here and now, please.
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Still, if only the 
would go full on 
/ Afrikaans and do a regularization for the ages.
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