Lawnmower triggers false Northern Lights alert


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“Hey James, you know that patch of lawn near the magnetometers? With all the signs around them? Big circle-slashes? Did you, uh… did you mow in there?”


Of course I didn’t mow in there, you moron! Everyone knows you need to use a trimmer around those signs.


“Oh. ’Cause, you know, we predicted Northern Lights the other night, and. Hey. Do you know offhand, how many Gauss that trimmer throws off? Just curious.”


Gas? It’s electric. I have to drag the cord around. Thinking about it, I might have left the extension cord wrapped around that, what was it, a magnetumometer?



::twitch:: “Yeah. That’s, right, a magnetometer. Anyway listen, if you could just not use any electrical equipment at all? Around that part of the grounds? Any electricity at all. I appreciate it.

“Oh and if you see Dr. Coleman around, would you please ask him to stop vaping near the hygrometer?”


Things like this make me love science all the more.


Bingo. I love the edge cases that make it clear that “science” is not a monolithic mountain of pure correctness.


I misread it as a lawnmower which triggered the northern lights, which would make it the best lawnmower ever.


Oops, forgot to put the grass catcher on. Oh, you thought the flying grass was an aurora? Like, man, what are you on???


“It’s time we moved you on to some other activities.”


Came for the Lawnmowerman reference; leaving satisfied.




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