He would like that, wouldn’t he?
2 Likes
It would be much pleased with itself.
Don’t get @japhroaig started
(Okay, he’s done)
3 Likes
Not better.
3 Likes
Maybe try reading Bonk by Mary Roach. Women are more complicated than you think.
7 Likes
Speaking of reading, I’d strongly recommend Whipping Girl by Julia Serano. While it is billed as a book about being trans, it’s a book about understanding what it’s like to be a woman, about femininity, and about how our culture looks down on femininity.
6 Likes
Whenever men refer to women as “females” I always think of Quark from DS9.
12 Likes
THIS.
Thank you.
@gwwar - also this. Thank you. 
4 Likes
Well, this conversation took a turn for the shitty yesterday and was not meant to. Sorry. So much for hypotheticals, eh?
I understand your thoughts about the word “female”, but there are legitimate uses for the word, grammatically speaking, when the point being made is separate from having to specify whether the people involved are children or adults. For example, female reproductive organs are present in (almost all) newborn baby girls, school-aged girls, and adult women.
7 Likes
Small correction, as this applies to trans women, not other trans identities (quite a few of whom would object to being called he or she)
People have told me that is what I do, which is odd since I believe that women shouldn’t have to do that. I suspect that it is less likely to happen the longer you wait until you transition, and that it is social rather than innate.
Quite a few trans people change who they are attracted to while “keeping their sexuality”. Understandable when they are heterosexual, but it also happens when they are gay. Again, the only way it makes sense is if it is social pressure, and that bi/pansexuality is very under-reported.
2 Likes
This is why I refer to all people as Jeff. Saves confusion. If it needs to be formal I will use the proper Jeff Jeffty Jeff in a pinch.
8 Likes
5 Likes
We were doing fine until we diverged off into hypotheticals. We really were owning our shit and talking about ourselves mainly, and other people not so much… and using non-confrontational language. But when it diverged into the hypothetical about a gender reversal, that’s when it started to derail and I was a big part of that. I don’t like to belittle people that I am trying to have a positive conversation with, even strangers on the net. So I am sorry that I said words that could be construed as that. They were not meant to be.
So, I’m going back to the OP intent and not engaging on this hypothetical anymore because it isn’t fruitful conversation. I thought the original intent was really to talk about sexuality as it exists in all its myriad forms, rather than to speculate.
6 Likes
I’m interested to hear that because it hasn’t been my experience (you mean two data points isn’t a complete picture?1?). Of course I know that trans people have been pretty terribly abused by the psychiatric establishment, and that being “committed” to being your new gender has been a prerequisite to being given medical support in transitioning. That commitment sometimes involved being properly heterosexual.
I certainly didn’t mean to touch that off. I’ve found Serano’s thought experiment to be instructive in that it seems to allow people to feel a pull towards the sex they regard themselves as that has been invisible to them since it has never come into question. The point really isn’t to figure out where the line is that you take the money.
2 Likes
Any particular points that you’d like to elaborate on? The reviews on the Amazon page don’t go into much detail. I’ve always thought it was interesting that men seem to be the most compulsive about sex, while the experience seems to be fairly objectively better for women (if they have a competent partner and a number of other conditions are met, of course). I can understand that the consequences of things going wrong are generally worse for women and there is a greater chance that it will be unsatisfying, but that doesn’t seem to explain it all. In discussions of couples with widely differing expectations of frequency of sex, men often seem to be generally uninterested if they are the ones with the low libido, even during the act. On the other hand, there seems to be a significant proportion of women with low libidos who claim to have great sex when they do have it, but still aren’t that interested a lot of the time.
There also seems to be a difference where men will often disconnect sex from whatever else is going on, while seemingly unrelated factors are more important for women. I realise that these are stereotypes, but they do seem to have some general validity and they gel with my own experience - I’m really not all that complicated, while my wife is more Rube Goldbergian in temperament. A common claim from men is that if only they had a woman’s body with the potential for that kind of orgasm, they would never leave the house. Yet the statistics don’t support that at all. Anyone care to comment?
1 Like
Understatement of the year there…
Also… where is all this “women have better orgasms than men” thing coming from? I just do not understand it, at all.
2 Likes
I can’t point to an actual head-to-head comparison, but it’s generally accepted that male orgasm is inferior to female, both in quality and in quantity.
Check this out:
But read this:
https://www.quora.com/Are-male-orgasms-more-intense-than-female-orgasms
Some responders are saying that it’s the same and that to suggest women have better orgasms is sexist. I am at a loss how that could be the take-away. However, as measured by instrumentation, perhaps it is “the same” and perhaps it is different in some other as yet undiscovered way. I do know this, from that first article, I know of NO men who can will themselves to orgasm by thought power alone.
edit: seems to be diverging into speculation again…errrrrrrrgh… I dunno what I’m gonna do with this damn thread. Might have to fuck it.
1 Like
If I respect them, and then only occasionally, “Jefe”.
5 Likes
I guess its interesting… but there is so much we don’t know about the human brain already, and then when we get to gender and the human brain… it gets even more fucked (ha!) up.
And yet I’ve seen sexist comments come up on the finding that women’s brains are 15% more active when “at rest” in MRI than men’s “Because women’ are worrying about things that don’t matter!”
So you see my reluctance to say one is ‘better’ than the other?
(So much more to sex than orgasms too, why so much focus there?)
3 Likes
