Live burros by mail


Originally published at:


And you can feed it to the alligator after it gets fully grown.


You used to be able to get stuff like that through Spencer Gifts? Man, how the mighty have fallen.


There’s a detail at the end of the ad that has me wondering what sort of faux burros were being palmed off on unsuspecting customers up to that point:

Guaranteed live delivery in their natural born colors.

My imagination is going a dozen different ways simultaneously.


You know we tend to assume this stuff is odd/gone. But you can order chickens online (and used to get them through live stock catalogs). And when I lived in Philly we used to get a live stock auction channel out of Lancaster. Basically QVC for cattle, horses and pigs. You’d call in with your bid and for certain lots how many head you were willing to buy at what price. I think. Stoned as we sometimes were we never did actually attempt to purchase any living animals by phone. Shit was better than a lava lamp.


Do all burros look like they are wearing a fur suit over their fur suit?


Those things are delicious dipped in warm chocolate!

Or am I confusing churros and burros again?



For God’s sake don’t buy one of these! It’s a plot to get Mexican immigrants into the US in burro costumes!


They’ll still sell you a Mexican burro. From the back room. Adults only. Specially trained. Guaranteed free of the “Oaxaca Aplauda.” Swishes tail for attention. No exchanges.


Honestly, both are good that way.


Extra Mousey!


Taco trucks on every corner I tell ya…


That would be WONDERFUL.


Now, if Mexico pays for the wall with a burro for every US citizen, I might be onboard.


I’d prefer burritos by pneumatic tube to burros by mail.


Dear Spencers,

I wish to order 37 of your finest, largest, angriest alligators, via express overnight shipping, C.o. D.


F.F. Von Clownstick,
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.
Washington D.C.

Think that would work?


Yeah, this stuff definitely still exists. As long as it’s legal, you can likely get it shipped to you (including alligators), but this is pretty lax advertising to people who likely didn’t know what they were getting into.

I’m a “reptile guy” (read as “fan of herpetology”, not “lizardman illuminatus”), and a veterinarian, and you couldn’t pay me to take an alligator as a pet.

Also, see a likely similarly aged ad where you could buy revolvers through the mail, no license, no nothing…


Reading these old clippings can be a difficult challenge sometimes. Thanks for providing the transcript, Mark. :slight_smile:


You can also ship ostriches by US Mail.