Look for Nessie on the Loch Ness livestream

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2017/09/06/look-for-nessie-on-the-loch-ne.html

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Why not just set up sonar stations everywhere on the lake, and livestream those?

Could it be because after a year of nothing showing up that tourism would drop off?

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Same reason why “proof of UFO” videos are shot with potatoes and flip phones. Also, get an over-excitable host - can make you feel like this nothing-burger situation is more conclusive than that Zapruder hack.

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Personally I refuse to believe UFO/Bigfoot/other cryptic evidence videos unless they are low quality or out of focus, because you know it was shot in the moment and everyone knows anecdotal evidence is the most reliable. /s

Also, I definitely want to make several dozen 12" surgeon’s hoax photo-style models and release them into the lake.

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obligatory:

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I think what we really need is a spoof documentary that shows flying Bigfoots, and has a Ghost autopsy, and Aliens prancing around in the forest.

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You have arrived at your destination

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I FOUND IT YOU GUYS

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I always wanted to believe the Loch Ness monster was real. Or something like that could be real.

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Well, to be fair, the coelacanth was missing from the fossil record before we found it alive. Strange truths exist.

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Meh. Serious cryptozoologists have trashed Nessie a long time ago. The Loch Ness’s turbid water doesn’t allow for enough photosynthesis to produce the biomass such a large beast would need. The favored theory to explain the most credible sightings involves wandering seals magnified by a kind of Fata Morgana.

I have chosen to believe in Nessie, despite the obvious problems with her existence. I’m not into Bigfoot, though.

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What about a yeti? Different from bigfoot.

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Please send this as a plot synopsis to the writers of The Simpsons; should make for a nice episode in a Halloween special.

What you clearly fail to take into account is that you can’t photograph ghosts with an iPhone. Something to do with either the lens coating or the CCD chip they use, I forget.
And on Android devices, a subroutine in the OS actually filters out anything supernatural since the early betas of V1.0.
It’s all a big conspiracy, I tell you, and they’re all in on it!
You see, if they wouldn’t do this, the lizard people ruling us would also show up on the pictures, and they dkn’t want that.

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I haven’t decided how I feel about yeti, or ghosts yet. If I see one I’ll let you know.

My favourite explanation for the Surgeon photograph is that it’s actually of an elephant having a swim, look:


You’ve got a trunk sticking out, and the front of the head just poking above the water is the “body”.

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Again, strange truths. Elephants once crossed the alps!

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