Man arrested on assault charges for dangling a donut in front of police

Originally published at:


Clearly someone agrees with Eric Idle - LEOs need self defence classes for if someone comes at them with a stick (pointed or otherwise).

In this case it’s a stick with confectionery attached so John Cleese’s method still works.

Are sticks and/or donuts already on the list of things that police officers are scared of?

And is it donut or doughnut? Or both? Or either? Enquiring minds want to know. As do Inquiring minds.


A video with no rewind/FF function? How are we supposed to see the alleged attack which happened in a nanosecond and when the camera was being whipped around? We MUST watch it all from end to end before it can start again and be paused at the relevant spot? WTFuckingF?

(Oh, it’s a Fuckbook video - why am I not surprised? Ye gods!)


Assault is whatever the pigs say it is.


Hold them on contempt charges!

(The cops, for wasting the court’s time, not the protester.)


Good to see all this protesting is having an effect on the brutal police establishment and the ‘stop abusing your powers’ message is finally getting through. I mean, normally they would have just ended the doughnut guy. Progress! /s


Skateboard Guy should have brought donuts for ALL of them instead of trying to make them share just one.


One of the cops is laughing at the visual joke when he first approaches them. But when his colleague decides to assault the protester he is immediately on board. That’s the thin blue line in action and the bad apple spoiling the bunch in real time.


As ludicrous as this is, it seems clear that “assault” in this instance is a term of art. In some jurisdictions, “battery” is the act that most people think of as assault, and “assault” is the act of threatening to commit battery.


Thin blue line? More like thin blue skin…


Similar story with a slightly better ending: My niece was at UA Fayetteville a few years ago. One Halloween, she and her BF dressed up as a doughnut and a cop. They got arrested for some reason (I think it was underage drinking at a loud party). Cop at station: “What are you supposed to be, young lady?” Niece: “…a doughnut, sir.” Cop: [long pause] “Ironic, isn’t it?” Her parents bailed her out and ever since we bring it up at family gatherings. Lots of lulz.


That was my first take on it, too. If I was one of those cops, I probably would have just grabbed the donut and tossed it away with some snarky remark like “I’m feedin’ the squirrels here”.

But then again, I’m not an ass usually.


Which is true but wholly irrelevant. You can’t look at this video and believe for one nanosecond that the officer was ever being threatened by the stick.


hmmm. It started funny. PlainClothes could have simply said, "Funny joke, now please move on sir we will give you 5 mins, here lets get a group shot ", backing up the regular dudes (who did initially find it funny). Instead the the perceived threat level goes from zero to whoah in 2 secs flat. Error 1

Being clearly out to troll (not the best idea in todays current environment), Ben Donut pursues his lolz crusade and sticks his manhood in the lion’s jaws…and gets surprised at the outcome. Error 2

Ideally Ben should have cracked a smile, accepted his yucks and showed up PlainClothes for the hate-filled napoleonic moron he is and boarded away the better man. But that takes maturity… and I bet Ben’s Donut owns more hairs than Ben does. I hope he returns intact.


well it’s doughnut officially. However, donut has been around for quite some time, but Dunkin Donuts started using it and it became more mainstream. I suspect there was an attempt or thought to copyright that spelling by them that most likely failed.

As for the story here…Why is LEOs seem to be the most snowflake of any human alive? Everything is some threat to their authority, man/woman-hood, ego, etc etc. It’s amazing to think people who we generally think of as doing a tough job or are tough people for doing dangerous work…or any other popular narrative…are just so god damn fragile when it comes to things they should be like “dude…whatever.”


Hardly so. Whatever you or I think of the “truth” of the threat is what is irrelevant. If “assault” is defined as I think it might be, then what matters here what the law in the jurisdiction says, and how the LEO interpreted same.

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In an ideal world, the cops would have deescalated in a better way, and there wouldn’t have been certainly the second shoving, of the person with the camera.

On the other hand, some dick waves a donut in someone’s face, he’s told to stop, and he doesn’t, I don’t have a problem if there are consequences. From what I read, “4th Degree Assault is widely defined and any intentional unwanted touching or physical contact that is attempted but missed can meet the criteria for this crime.” Sounds appropriate to me. I do it to some random person on the street and I expect to get punched, and I’m happy if instead a cop arrests me for fourth-degree assault.

I certainly don’t want to live in a world where cops are free to man-handle people as they see fit, but I’m also not wild about a world where people can taunt others in an “in your face” way and everyone has to just stand there and take it.

Sure, cops are being paid for this, trained to handle this, etc. But also don’t pretend that a couple of giggling idiots filming this aren’t looking for trouble.


In the US, that is. Non-Americans still spell it as the real word it is- a nut of dough.

Regarding this incident, the whole thing is just bizarre. You can’t really see what happened, the kid went in intent on antagonizing people and filming it, then it escalates from a bunch of stuff we can’t really see or hear.

I fully support defunding the police, but video like this doesn’t do anyone’s cause any favors in my book.


The cops’ version of the story has a few holes in it.


it would so rock if Krispy Kreme announced support for Black Lives Matter .