Man charged in chess row death


#1

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#2

En passant would do it.


#3

Can I be the first to suggest his legal team employs the Sicilian defence?


#4

And I thought my sister was a dick for flipping the board when losing.


#5

See, war games do lead to violence!


#6

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. How about a nice game of global thermonuclear war?


#7

Chess kills. Whodathunk.


#8

I’ve heard of being forked in chess before . . . but this is ridiculous!


#9

…aaand checkmate! Eat your heart out!
Wait, wait, what are you doing with that knife? No! No! I said your heart! Yours!


#10

American Mothers Against Chess is already on the case.


#11

Look- This is CHESS.

It’s not some lowley Monopoly game where you get in a brawl and make threatening overtures about your opponant’s milkshake. Oh, no- This is a game of MEN, not chance. You don’t just win, you nobly vanquish your enemy through ruthless cunning superiority, and yes, occasionally feast on their still-beating heart.

I mean, really, if it’s not more exciting than a Taiwanese hooker, it just isn’t worth playing.


#12

The first 3 times I read the title I wondered what chess move “row over” referred to, and what relation it had to en passant as shown in the image.

Then I got the pronunciation of “row” right.


#13

You’re just muddying the waters.


#14

Chess, corrupting the young since the Gupta Empire.


#15

Young people today are being turned into killers by this violent so-called game. An investigating committee is needed - STAT!


#16

I should think that killing someone over a chess game is a clear indicator of mental instability.


#17

I know, WARNING LABELS!


#18

I have to say, I’ve never inspired more rage and apoplectic sorrow in another player than when using en passant. I then usually refer them to the printed instructions that came with the chess set. It’s a dangerous thing to introduce the move to someone this way. Why did Han shoot first? If you look carefully there’s a chess set between him and Greedo.


#19

It was his lung, according to the Daily Star.
Such gory details. So little facts.


#20

Take a deep breath and reign in your outrage.