A different spin…
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We’re taking this back!
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“Are you reporting-- is that girls don’t like this?? [catcalling]”
His disbelief at the reporter’s counter-opinion is just … amazing.
This guy’s attitude/mannerisms could be taken verbatim and put into a Saturday Night Live sketch and it would be hilarious.
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I’ve been saying to ladies on the street, ‘Are you a doctor?’ - just so that there’s not a feeling that only men can be doctors.
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More power to ya!
I learned something today!
What is this… I don’t… even?
That guy was… for lack of a better word, amazing.
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Christ, what an asshole!
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Not too far, though, we don’t want him in Europe either.
All ignorami are redeemable. After all, ignorance is the default human position. Actually, he’s so clueless that I just think that he genuinely never considered the possibility that it was wrong. I actually thought it was interesting watching this piece on the same story, because one of the news commentators is an ex-cat caller:
Hey! We have one of those signs right across the street! It’s nit working so far. Although we tend to get more the “cat greeting” than cat call per se, which is actually almost grosser and creepier because it’s not performance at all, just straight up “'sup, I’ve been staring at your ass and mentally umdressing you, now I’m engaging very personally and intensely as your are forced to walk near me to go in your building”
I don’t want to pick nits* but, “not”.
* nit true.
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Thank you for digging up that Far Side treasure!
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I am probably going into tasteless areas of devil’s advocacy here, but how do you compare cat calls, wolf whistles, etc against “respectful” ways of communicating sexual interest? This relates to a topic I posted a few weeks ago. The legal and etiquette definitions of sexual harassment often focus upon the response to the communication. So an expression of interest to someone who reciprocates is fine, but an undesired communication of interest is considered a transgression. I can appreciate that it is extremely rude to continue to bother somebody who expresses their disinterest, but most of the complaints about this sort of thing seem to suggest that one should somehow be able to know in advance how their expressions of interest would be received. I am not sure that this is a reasonable assumption.
What are some examples of respectful ways?
I have no idea, that’s why I asked. Being psychic? Most of what I read suggests that “respect” means approaching somebody who happens to be interested. Versus being defined as “harassment” because one is somehow supposed to guess that the person isn’t interested. If telling people that you find them appealing, or asking them to join you are perceived as being gauche, then I imagine “polite” would mean being extremely indirect, which seems more likely to encourage miscommunication.
It seems like yet another social behavior which people go out of their way to make as contradictory as possible.
“Don’t start a conversation with a complete stranger by communicating sexual interest in them” is probably a good rule of thumb.
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I think the most respectful way to communicate sexual interest would be to do so only after you have a rapport with the person and think that such an overture would reasonably be welcome.
You want something (sex) from this person that they may or may not be willing to give you. You are not entitled to it, but you’d like to try. Okay.
These inequality things usually benefit from a gender swap. So imagine you’re trying to get something from a man. Maybe friendship? How would you get the friendship of a random man on the street?
You probably wouldn’t. You’d probably instead join a club or attend a party or play a game or join a team or something and then build a rapport. Then you start adding them to facespace and linkedster and inviting them to things outside of club/party/game/team.
I think the same thing would apply to interactions with someone who’d you like to have sex with, no?
Once you have a back-and-forth going where you’re talking about things other than [thing you were doing when you met], then you will have a better understanding of whether or not the person might be interested in sexual overtures.
I think.
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Like, inviting them out for coffee? Trying to befriend them first? Bothering to stop and inquire about their name?
A lot more work as well.
It’s not about being indirect, it’s about treating them like a person. Being direct involves hitting them over the head and dragging them back to your cave. Being direct is telling them “You sexy!” Being direct is fucking rude. This interpersonal relationship that one is trying to establish involves being personal and treating others like people.
Respecting others, in other words. Respecting that if they’re walking down the street they might not want to talk to you. Respecting the fact that you should see if they are showing any interest in you at all. People do not walk down the sidewalk for others to gape at. They don’t dress up for others to complement them on. They are not “asking for it.”
Being direct is where one fails. Therefore there are no respectful ways of outwardly communicating sexual interest on the first meeting of someone.
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Right—unless you’re at a swinger’s club or some other context where it’s clear people are actively seeking out sexual attention. The vast majority of women who are just walking to work or doing some shopping or going for a jog do not fall into this category.
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