I think I’d lie down on the carpeted floor and stretch out. Take a nap. They’d probably tell me to get back in my sit as I was being a safety hazard. I think I’d bite me an ankle.
If it were United they would still drag him down the aisle screaming for some reason and deny him any overhead cargo space, just because.
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F*&% it, lets just light the planet on fire and be done with it.
My wife and I flew to Honolulu on a 767 with about 20 people on it. The FAs had nothing to do so mostly played with our 18 month old son who wandered the aisles with them for a couple of hours. Was awesome.
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I flew the Polish airline LOT out of Chicago in 2007 to Romania, and the flight was less than 1/4 full.
I had my cat with me, so the flight attendants allowed me to take her out of the carrier. Being a true lap cat, she didn’t wander, and the attendants used their extra time to come by and give her scratches and attention. Best long-distance flight I’ve ever taken.
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Delta: You paid for the seat covered in shit, so you will sit in the seat covered in shit.
See also: The Andromeda Strain.
Back in the early '00s I had a few biz trips from London to Stockholm flying British Airways - and found that due to some oddity I could get a business seat cheaper than economy.
On one of the return legs, the plane was bigger than usual, a 767. Watching the passengers disembark I figured it must’ve had a large group from a holiday destination - there were a lot of people in shorts and sandals, and it can’t have been more than 10degC outside.
Business section was pretty empty (late evening flight), and when I went for a wander I realised the entire middle economy section behind me was empty - about 17 rows. Asked the stewardess if I could have my own cabin and she said sure - I took the front row window seat and she brought champagne. Pretty rock and roll - and moreso when I knocked over the glass spilling the champagne and breaking it 
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Well yeah Hall was the Odd Man.
And here I’m just happy when the middle seat is empty.
The first time I ever flew was on a 707, and that heading to Connecticut for Winter camping planned for our Boy Scout troop (the only passengers that day). From what I could see, we had all spread out to score window seats. 35 faces pushed up against 35 windows. No adults to bother us except for a couple of stewardesses (as we called them back then) making the rounds. One of them decided to sit next to me, hand me a candy, and chat me up about first-time flying. I was 11 years old, and she got me 1000 times more flustered than the flight!
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Holy…shit.
Absolutely unbelievable. America- we know how to make everything worse. Trust us.
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