OTOH, is there anyone who doesn’t have a hatchet or a machete in their garage and a meat cleaver in the kitchen? You seldom hear about horrific accidents involving kids playing with them, though.
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have you met the internet?
Well, yes, if he missed. 
Also, Shadowrun is awesome.
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I think modern people carry assault rifles around, instead of spears. Well, modern in a sense.
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Certainly. That’s why it’s often best to keep dangerous $OBJECT away from kids entirely instead of relying on “proper training” to ensure that they won’t use it for $OBJECT_ACTION.
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$OBJECT_ACTION[ random_action( Object ) ]
This model allows for such things as:
"People who have been instructed in gun safety cock themselves or others by accident all the time.
FTFY
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But don’t pull it into extremes. If it does not leave too lasting damage, it delivers an important lesson. I was allowed to learn the hard (though not TOO hard) way. Best way to get the just-right amount of respect to materials and tools. As a kid I never had those flimsy plastic “tool” toys, was getting the real stuff instead, and am now immensely thankful for that.
Piercing damage, 1d6, x2 crit, 20ft increment?
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One night after a long D&D session (and a lot of Jolt cola) my friends and I fell into an hour of inexplicable laughter over the seemingly infinite diversity of polearms and the fact that you could seemingly change one to another just by flipping it over.
Thank you for that trip down memory lane.
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Three words: Bohemian Ear-Spoon.
Those guys at TSR did have some sort of pole-arm fetish, given the completely unnecessary amount of specificity they engaged in.
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Interestingly, in the same state, some months previously, a man shot and killed a police officer under identical circumstances. They declined to press charges against him in that case. I’m not sure why there’s a discrepancy in how they were treated, but in one case the shooter was white, in the other, the shooter was black - I leave it to you to figure out which was which.
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Gary Gygax would have called that a glaive.
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Nah, you want a trident and a net for dealing with kids.
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Eeeeeeep. 0_0
Or a glaive-guisarme. Or a glaive-glaive-guisarme. Or a glaive-glaive-glaive-glaive-baked beans-sausage-guisarme.
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If you want something some orders of magnitude less grisly but more common in electronics workshops (the home ones where you often go barefoot), a 74HCT245 with pins up is a nice antipersonnel mine. Two rows of quarter-inch pins, 10 each. Fairly sharp, and once they are in, they bend. It takes a while to extract it.
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Instant caltrops?
Not really, they sometimes don’t land with pins up. But the ones that do, they have a quite similar functionality.
Illegal in the District of Columbia, although I don’t know how “intent” laws are enforced: “No person shall within the District of Columbia possess, with intent to use unlawfully against another, an imitation pistol, or a dagger, dirk, razor, stiletto, or knife with a blade longer than 3 inches, or other dangerous weapon.” (Clubs, saps, brass knuckles, etc. are covered in another section.)
I actually have a dull machete hanging in my bedroom closet. My mother brought it back from central america for me, sure that I would find it useful for pruning my fruit vines! “The workers down there use it for everything”. My son is furious at me for not sharpening it up, or letting him (he’s 15 and a blade nut). He hung a sign on it that says he has dibs in case of zombie apocalypse.
When I was a kid my dad had a genuine union cavalry saber in the hall closet. I would take it out, but never did anything stupid with it. Wonder what Chipotle would make of that?
