Marissa Mayer makes 1,100 Yahooers jobless, calls it a "remix"


#1

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#2

Worst. DJ. Ever.


#3

Anyone who has worked in corporate 'murica for any number of years knows that executives are always on the hunt for words other than “layoff” when there’s a layoff, and I’ve heard them all. Downsizing, right-sizing, realigning, shifting of resources, resource alignment, and on it goes…and now Mayer’s “remix”, which has probably caused countless CEOs to wet their pants with excitement over a new layoff word.


#4

Marissa Mayer will get her check on time this week and the next and so forth.

ReMix Marissa Mayer and Yahoo might have a chance to survive, maybe…


#5

I guess ‘remix’ is a lot catchier than “I’m so terrible at my job that I was unable to find a way to lead this company into a profitable future that we could all share in”


#6

Has yahoo EVER sent out dividend checks? That’s the problem with modern American capitalism. Between IPO and bankruptcy, if they never send you any money you’ve got nothing it you didn’t sell your stock to some greater fool.


#7

Just a couple of weeks ago I was told “your position is impacted by the outsourcing currently taking place”, so I was “impacted”.

Recent internal notices about colleagues being fired are described as “leaving for external employment opportunities”.


#8

While that’s certainly true, employee well-being was never her mission. Probably not even in the top ten of her target goals.


#9

Isn’t that part of the problem?


#10

I’m sorry about your recent impaction. That sucks.

I know “layoff” has negative connotations (doh), but I have to wonder what brain trust told corporations that “layoff” must be avoided at all cost – no matter how convoluted and absurd the replacement phrasing might be.


#11

Yup…and I don’t see it changing in my lifetime.


#12

Tell that to the shareholders.


#13

My wife’s company prefers the term “synergy”. Which makes even less sense than “remix”.


#14

Yahooers just needed to lean in. Not that difficult.


#15

Nope: http://www.nasdaq.com/symbol/yhoo/dividend-history


#16

It’s just the nature of euphemism. Each new sanitized word is gradually contaminated by the stink of the concept it was brought in to replace or obscure.


#17

i am reminded of dilbert, which happens a lot actually–


#18

Yeah, it’s not even clear that corporate governance is in the shareholder’s interests anymore. Theoretically, maximizing the long-term value of a company would be the goal. But the fast majority of publicly held companies I’ve worked with can’t make a long-term decision. It’s just pump and dump. Pump and dump.


#19

All true, except corporations are not immortal. They should be, by design, but their narrow focus on short term profits usually leads to their demise. Unfortunately, they disrupt countless lives on the way down.


#20

But didja check out that sweeeeet new logo? She’s clearly earning her pay!