Oh, if that was a punishment, you’ll be happy to learn that you will undoubtedly be able to witness many other easily predictable astronomical occurrences. Despite such a dire warning, my group of 400+/- people are continuing with our plans for our yearly kinky camping event - in a location close to path of totality, even!
A lot of our campers even made pilgrimages to see the full eclipse firsthand and yet, none of them took it as a sign of anything other than the moon passing in front of the sun. Beautiful? Yes, absolutely. A warning? No, absolutely not.
It is our sincere hope that with enough debauchery we can bring about some other warning from god, such as the Summer Solstice. Perhaps we can even get some sign such as a rain of meteors peaking sometime around the 12th of August from the direction of the constellation of Perseus. Surely something that specific would be a sure sign of something, right?
