But it IS flesh. It only appears to be a dry cracker. But apparantly you can’t catch kuru from it.
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A god so weak that if you eat the wrong thing, his hands are tied and you must be punished. Same as it always was
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Unless they’re Cathars.
“Kill them all, and God will know his own!”
Heh. If you don’t grill meat, you’ll end up as grilled meat?
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This post buries the lede: the pivot of the far right towards eco-fascism.
This rhetoric about corporations creating things in labs and God being an environmentalist is not to be dismissed. It’s popping up more and more in far right propaganda, and it’s potent because it cribs talking points from the radical ecology movement, which has generally aligned with the left.
This is why XR and even more anti-establishment and disruptive environmental efforts are critical right now. If we don’t show ourselves to be truly the ones who are at war with the corporate death cult which is bent on turning God’s creation into a nightmare world, then that space will be eagerly filled by charlatans like this guy.
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Damn, he’s on to us.
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A properly seasoned and cooked slab of beef is about as close as I get to admitting there may be some benevolent force looking over us. But I don’t think that nigh-ecstasy would be ruined knowing the delicious hunk of protein was grown in a lab. Overtly religious people are cuckoo bonkers.
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If you don’t like lab-grown meat, there are alternatives. Lots of them.
Portobello mushrooms, halloumi, tofu and other bean-based stuff, pulled oats, seitan… Okay, he wouldn’t like seitan, I’m pretty sure.
(First speech bubble: “We’ve received a visitor, a Pentecostal minister from the US!”)
(This is an unusually SFW Fingerpori strip, actually. 
)
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“part of a satanic plot to alter human DNA so that people can no longer worship God.”
Sure sure, but just try a bite of this Morningstar burger. Delicious! Well worth the cost in DNA alterations and my god-card being revoked.
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By his logic, particularly those lions that ate the Christians. They got the DNA!
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Will you serve burgers made of seitan?
(Oops, didn’t notice the link - seems like that’s the joke. Hail Seitan!)
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Good one…
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Soulless creatures one and all! Or at the very least, Lutherans.
ETA spoiler blur
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This is the kind of news that always makes me wonder…
… what the hell is Christianity in the US???
Because for sure it sounds like a bit bigger tent than everywhere else. I mean, of all the theological debates over stuff, I think I have not missed the one about how DNA is the prime factor to worship God.
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It is perplexing. God needs a DNA sample to work from? Presumably if he has a non-vegetarian burger contaminated sample, he can PCR up the whole genome. Weirdly, he can create the Heavens and Earth and all Creation in six days, but lacks the technical know how to synthesize a specific indivual’s DNA. I mean, it is a long sequence to remember, so I guess after 10,000 years, he’s not as omniscient as he once was. You’d think he could at least contract out to a lab that does know how to construct DNA.
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An evangelical (who does “spiritual warfare”) told me that eating meat demonstrates that we have dominion over the Earth. I would like to point out that the word demonstrates has the word “demon” in it. Just saying.
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You can always count on Christians to eat their own.
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Whereas mastering the science of making plant matter taste like meat is…you know, the…uh, wrong kind of domination? It ain’t nat’rul!
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Whichever one said " Whoever eats my flesh and drinks my blood has eternal life". Some obscure zombie/vampire fetish sect.
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What does he think it takes to rise a crop, but EXTENSIVE domain over literal earth in Earth?
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