Christians sue Satanists


#1

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Communion wafers in Lunchables form
#2

They’re giving Satanism a bad name.


#3

Coakley asked his congregation to include the Prayer to St. Michael the Archangel at the end of each mass until Sept. 29.

Well that should take care of everything, no? Let god and satan sort it out between themselves.


#4

You can get pre-transubstantiated wafers?

I though that magically happened when you ate them.

Learn something every day…


#5

Of course you can, from any church supply house. And they don’t check ID.

If you’re Protestant, it magically happens when you eat them, but if you’re Catholic, it’s a whole other level of magic. The wafers change when the priest changes them, and stay changed for good.

It was an issue in the Middle Ages, with peasants stealing the host and using it to cure their sick cows. This is technically witchcraft. The Protestant answer was no, it doesn’t work that way. The Catholic answer was better locks.


#6

oh those crazy zombie cults, what will they think of next?


#7

Worse than masturbating on a cracker, stomping on it, and taking part in a rousing bit of animal sacrifice?


#8

So they sell bottles of ‘blood’, too? Do they need a licence for that?


#9

A great example of how humans are rationalizing, not rational, animals.


#10

Transubstantiation is one of the creepiest parts of Christianity anyway.

“Here, have this cracker.”
“Ok”
“Got you! We turned it into the flesh of our savior right after you ate it. Now you’re a cannibal!”
“Gosh darn it”
“I know, it’s a big shock, here drink some of this wine to calm down.”
“I guess alcohol is ok in our religion”
“Got you again! It turned to blood, now you’re a double cannibal!”
“Stop that!”


#11

really i read that as “animal cracker sacrifice”. ( which does lead me wonder why communion wafers don’t come in more fun shapes. a fish, a lamb, the face of god, christ on the cross… the possibilities are endless. )


#12

Gluten free!

(May contain Jesus byproducts)


#13

Catholicism probably get a lot more converts if people could consume the body of Christ in the form of a fish, a lamb, or…a dinosaur.


#14

Sorry to ruin the fun here, but the Satanists caved: http://newsok.com/satanist-turns-communion-wafer-over-to-oklahoma-citys-archbishop/article/5334578 .

The money quote from the article:

“I refuse to waste thousands of dollars fighting over a nasty cookie
that some man said a prayer over,” Daniels said in the statement. “We
will still move forward with worshiping the Devil and blaspheming Gawd
in the public square.”


#15

I’m not sure this is an approach the Christians are going to want to pursue. It’s safe to assume that Satan has most of the lawyers.


#16

Christ on a cracker!


#17

If you cut the belief systems out, then it becomes easier ton understand. Club B steals consumables from Club A and brags about it, Club A threatens to sue. It doesn’t matter that Club A is more established/mainstream and Club B wants to maintain a “bad boy” underdog image, it’s still unlawful and unethical.


#18

Christians and Satanists should really get along more than they do.

They believe in the same stories, just are rooting for the other guy.

It’s like the Super Bowl of religion, only there appears to be no halftime, and the concessions are even worse.


#19

Christ on a stick! Get yer kebabs here!


#20

Such a hullabaloo over Christ Crispies…