Everybody has won, and all must have prizes.
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Sure - but it seems pretty clear in context from her interview that she isnât talking about âYou can really tell that this person is trying to say something specific about their personality, based on a single photoâ and rather is saying something much more superficial along the lines of âYou can always totally tell if a person is worth dating or not based on their hair or clothes in a single pictureâ. And the (seemingly) latter explanation is what I was objecting too, in particular the always part.
why are you putting quotation marks around a fairly inaccurate paraphrasing?
Iâm assuming the most popular straight woman on a (still assuming) primarily straight-male-dominated hookup website must have developed a highly specialized Blink-style technique to sort hundreds of profiles as quickly as possible based on instant, instinctual clues. Iâm guessing a lot of false negatives (i.e. wrong first impressions) donât bother her in this situation of extreme abundance, so whatever works I guess?
Itâs not like what she does should be considered relevant for more normal situations or, worse, be seen as deep insights for life or anything.
Nope. Social signifiers only say anything about the society, not the individual. Jobs, clothes, and social classes all made by other people donât directly relate to the person who is depicted with them.
Of course, it would seem convenient for some of they did! Then you could know something about people by simply seeing them. My guess is that itâs a form of laziness caused by most people dedicating nearly all of their brain power to optical processing.
Thatâs rich. If you look at people you can see that from the very moment at puberty when they start expressing themselves and their own personality it immediately takes the form of clothes, hair and behaviors. People band together naturally to form cultures, subcultures and âclassesâ all of which they use to both inform and express their personality. To say that it doesnât express who they are but is all foisted on them by society is to have a very dim view of people IMHO.
I see it as being a simple mistake which people are predisposed to making. This doesnât mean that I need to become judgemental about it, since doing so wonât help them or me. But functionally? No, I think it doesnât work.
I could call the phenomena something like âemergent distortionsâ, where people collectively build models based upon the uncertainties of what people apparently think of each other. It does come from people, but wholly from presumptions.
Ah thatâs your issue, you see it as judgemental. Itâs not though, itâs accepting information people are broadcasting about themselves, about affiliations of which they are proud.
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No, I donât. This was in reference to your suggestion that my refutation of visual social signifiers represented âa dim view of peopleâ. This dim view would be my own judgement, so I was clarifying that I perceive it differently.
Sure, but I think it is superficial information. There isnât anything wrong with it, but it doesnât really say much about them. YMMV of course. Broadcasting information about yourself is not the same as a signifier, which suggests an actual code which can be understood as having a particular meaning. I disagree that style == message.
There is an ancient behavior issue with humans. That is trying to simultaneously model what one feels about others, as well as what others feel about oneself. I think itâs too much baseless guesswork, and gets in the way of actual communication. But, like I said, people use most of their brain by far for finding visual patterns, but the more involved interactions are, the less can be visually assumed about them. Language seems far more efficient,
Why do we care what this person thinks? Because theyâre popular on an online dating website? NeatâŚ
Welcome to celebrity culture. Yes, itâs nonsensical, self-feeding circular logic. Yes, itâs super stupid. No, I donât know why people keep falling for it.
This is someone who only wants to date people who live in New York and donât have housemates. The social signifiers are obviously important to her. And, indeed, most people, especially young people, often see these signifiers as an important part of their identity. Maybe you donât and maybe that makes you not her type.
My OkCupid profile was one of me DJing in a club - blah blah blah, itâs all cultural constructions and the pure, unadulterated ME didnât come through. Thank god. Most people stopped messaging back once they found out I was a noise musicianâŚ
And also, they donât have to make a lot of money. But they have to live on their own in New York. SoâŚ
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Taking it a bit further, I donât even believe in personal identity itself, which no doubt makes the signifiers seem even more devoid of meaning.
This also can result in interesting changes to the perspective of self or other upon âdatingâ when dating is framed as not being a personal matter.
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You have interesting views. I mean that in a good way.
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After 3 beers she will look like Xena, The Warrior Princess. I wonder if she has a blonde sidekick?
I think that being the most popular person on a dating website makes you at least somewhat remarkable. I donât think that qualifies them to give lectures on physics or run a country, but it certainly is something and a book written by them might be interesting to read. Itâs certainly more than Iâve accomplished.
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And your white tiger screams hetero who makes good life choices.
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