Mega-mantis shrimp caught in Florida


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And I thought “jumbo shrimp” was an oxymoron!

Let’s suppose for the sake of argument, or Japanese monster movies, that global warming has something to do with this. Some day shrimp may be like olives, where “jumbo” is the usual size. What will we call the bigger ones? Grande? Venti?

Some of the Mantis shrimp spotted in wet markets seemed to reach around a foot in length. Not entirely sure I’d classify this as “mega”… Apt classification: Tasty? Definitely.

Almost obligatory link to include here, even with maybe a few inaccuracies:



Another obligatory primer:


So, is this a foot-long crustacean that has a punch best compared to a bullet? I do not think that I would want to be in front of this thing…

I guess that this kind doesn’t punch – it grabs its prey:

Edit: To smash or to spear? The mantis shrimp dilemma

Mantis shrimp are split into two groups. Smashers methodically dismember and knock their prey unconscious. Spearers impale fish with spikey appendages, much like their insect namesake.

It’s a really stabby kind of grab.

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This and the Bobbit worm are reasons to NEVER FISH IN THE OCEAN.


If anyone needs me, I’ll be clutching my M41A1 and watching the motion tracker for anything non-human…

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I’ve heard (though I don’t remember where) that fishermen in locales with the “spear” type of mantis shrimp are known to get fingers pretty badly cut attempting to remove them from nets (where they’re often “bycatch”).


Don’t worry, they mostly come at night. Mostly.

(i) shrimpus mantisus smashandgrabberurus
(ii) shrimpus manitisus impalerus vladus

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This is freaking awesome. The voiceover is FTW.

These guys will jack you up. They can, and will, cut you to ribbons if not careful.
Source: worked on shrimp boats on the Texas Gulf Coast for 15 years.

Then you don’t want to miss this one:

I wish there was something more poignant than a slowclap to express my approval, but there obviously isn’t.

My only other wish is that Morgan Freeman did a redub. The white-guy Morgan Freeman guy is pretty damn good, but he’s only 95% there.

Reminds me a lot of the Look Around You BBC series, which is equally funny and somehow even less informative.

That one is Ze Frank. I don’t think he’s trying to do a perfect imitation. There is another guy who’s much closer though. (possibly nsfw)