Fair enough, glad you were open enough to change your mind.
I can only speak for myself here, but I don’t care about things like bathroom lines. I don’t see it as something that women as group expect to be written into building codes in a fair society. If there is a long line, then I will wait or go elsewhere. At no point have I ever attributed that inconveinence to gender inequality. I don’t have any issues with open non-gendered restrooms either, what problems do you anticipate?
Things like “upper body strength” will continue to be sorted out as more women choose to become soldiers and firefighters. It always seems like kind of a false dilemma to me. My partner spent some time in the military, and I can confidently state that I would not trust a fair number of his fellow enlisted men to save me or themselves. Perhaps as things continue to change unseen solutions will organically arise.
If women, and by extension “women’s work” were ever valued in the same way as men and “men’s work”, more men might naturally go into child care on their own. I do think that women are catching up to men in terms of sexual predators. Perhaps this is a result of changing attitudes about sexuality and sexual abuse. Both genders are less likely to remain silent.
I think the best course of action is to not get lost in the small details, but instead to look at the larger picture and the obvious inequalities, cultural sterotypes and systems, and toxicity whenever we encounter it. I think we’ll get there.
Edited to add:
By the way, what ended up happening with the married couple and the in-laws? I will say that I don’t see the use in labeling any conflict as gendered, cultural, and so on. Conflict will always arise between partners, families, friends, and so on. The topic of the conflict is much less important than being able and open enough to find a solution.
Women spend 2-3 times longer in the bathroom then men do, according to most studies that have looked into that sort of thing (which is a surprising number, lol). Blame fashion or
Patriarchy.
The word you’re looking for is patriarchy.
Patriarchy is what dictates that women MUST be made up to “look like a woman” and that men may NOT be made up last they are a “gay”.
Women didnt just decide to spend more time in the washroom. Women are dealing with multiple layers of inconvenient clothing. Meticulous cleanliness. Hair and make up. And a dose of self loathing because we ascribe to these unrealistic beauty norms and still dont quite fulfil them despite knowing that they’re harmful to everyone.
Honestly the question isnt what are women doing in the washroom… the question should be what AREN’T men doing in the washroom? Why is the studied pitched so that a woman’s actions are abnormal and the mens are normal? Could it be sexism? Patriarchy at work?
And don’t forget actually washing their hands. Take another minute or two, guys, please! (Yes, they’ve done hidden cameras to prove there’s a significant gender difference in hygiene in public restrooms.)
I do wash my hands, and am more than a little annoyed at those who don’t… especially if I see them leaving the stall and making a beeline right for the door.
I’d add taking care of children’s bathroom needs and changing diapers to that list. I know that more men’s rooms are including changing stations, but women are still doing the lion’s share when not at home.
And what about loitering an extra minute just delay getting back to the men who are talking about how long women spend in the bathroom? I can only assume this accounts for a significant amount of time.
My father-in law used to love to joke about how much more toilet paper his daughters and wife used than him, and how he could only imagine they were eating it or something…until I suggested he imagine having to care for a vulva instead of a penis, and why it might require a bit more toilet paper.
LOL - my step father used to yell about all the hair that would clog the shower drain, and yell at me for it because somehow it was only my fault, and once brandished a giant gross clump of shower hair at me yelling about how I had clogged the shower again! I asked him what did he want me to do, stop showering? He said “stop shaving in the shower”. My mother and I burst into laughter and she had to explain that the nearly two feet long hairs that were clogging the drain were NOT from my legs.
Depending on which jewelry I’m wearing in my junk that day (it’s gotten easier since I’m down to the two piercings), it is sometimes easier if I sit down to pee.
So, speaking from personal experience, I can say that doing the same business takes longer that way than it does with a urinal- handwashing, grooming, and other activities notwithstanding.
See… men don’t use our mouths. We communicate through a series of tail wags and pheromone releases. What comes out of our mouths is typically just noise used to scare away predators.
