Michigan mayors proposes ban on personal flamethrowers


#1

[Read the post]


WATCH: Flamethrower + trombone = Pyro-Trombone
#2

I don’t even know where I stand on this particular issue, but I can assure, if this idea came from Jim Fouts, it’s terrible. The man is the absolute worst and has no business being in government. This is the same tool that cost his city a 6 figure judgement for not allowing atheists to set up a booth next to a Christian booth on city property. He dug in his heels and Warren city taxpayers had to foot the bill. Terrible.


#3

If you build it, they will come…


#4

“The ordinance would provide an exemption for…local, state
or federal government officials who are on duty…”

Well that’s only reasonable, given that the average letter carrier faces 6.3 vicious dogs every day.


#5

I was as surprised at the ‘law enforcement officers’ part - what on earth would the cops need flamethrowers for?

As for the ‘insulting and discriminatory’ assumption that private citizens will only do stupid things with flamethrowers - it’s not a discriminatory assumption: they’ve already demonstrated that they’re the kind of idiot who would buy a personal flamethrower. There is nothing non-stupid that can be done with one.


#6

Flamethrowers are pretty cool.

And pretty useful too, for getting rid of vegetation or wasps.


#7

Notice how they didn’t let any civilians touch the flamethrower.


#8

So where on the spectrum from ‘cheapo butane lighter’ to ‘tank-mounted bunker burner’ are they going to peg “Flamethrower”? Extra credit if they manage to catch the boring little weed-management ones up in the definition.

Next we just need an explanation of why you would need to ban a device whose problematic uses are largely covered already(any sort of assault, arson, burning without a permit in some municipalities, etc.); and whose utility as a weapon, thanks to its weight, bulk, limited range, and difficulty of concealment, ranks well below pretty much any man portable firearm.

Further credit will be extended if you can come up with an explanation of why the number of flamethrower idiocy victims currently hovers below the noise floor, despite the common household availability of super soakers and gasoline.


#9

Notice it’s North Korea.

Also, some videos how to make your own.
https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=pressure+washer+flamethrower

Fwwwoooooooosssshhh!


#10

Paging @Medievalist


#11

I can only assume that that is either there to deal with some quirk of law regarding the ability of municipalities to regulate the equipment and activities of law enforcement and feds; or it’s just reflexive obeisance to The Troops of the sort that police generally enjoy unless they get caught doing something magnificently hard to deny.


#12

Clearly, they’re taking the position that flamethrowers don’t kill people - people with flamethrowers kill people. But I’m not 100% sure this weapon is covered by the Second Amendment.

Better call the NRA and ask their opinion.


#13

@Medievalist uses his to de-ice his creek in the winter. I think he said his wife bought it off Amazon?


#14

“The best way to stop a bad guy with a flamethrower is a good guy with a flamethrower.” ~NRA


#15

(wait…Pyro’s a bad guy)


#16

Why, other than fire firefighters, would any of those people need a flamethrower? Cops would never need them, why are they exempt? The law is moot for armed forces, because state law doesn’t have any affect over what the military does. Fire fighters and farmers both use them to set or control brush fires and prairie fires and farmers us them for weed control.

Remember, some animals are more equal than others.

Next up, a waiting period of 5 days between buying a lighter and aerosol can.

Also I know for a fact this is the most common way to kill spiders in Australia because they have those giant face hugger kind with deadly venom.


#17

I deeply wish that I’d had a small flamethrower this past winter. With snowdrifts topping six feet, shovels and snowblowers were useless. I would’ve loved to have eaten through the drifts with a blast of fire.

When I visited people in Australia and NZ, they used flamethrowers to kill weeds and burn leaves. Seemed super handy.


#18

But in Detroit?


#19

There are no wasps in Detroit?


#20

Some, but it’s a cold climate where wasps mostly have to stick to underground hives or in pipes or somewhere they won’t just die in the winter.

Then again, I did use WD-40 and a match to get rid of some wasps in a dumpster so I must be in desperate need of a personal flamethrower.