Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2019/02/15/microsoft-excels-hall-of-tor.html
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I like how the code is “ExcelKFA” and thus totally a reference to Doom whose Keycard/Weapon/Ammo code is “IDKFA”
And considering that Doom was estimated to be installed on more computers worldwide than Windows 95, in late 1995, I’m willing to bet the Devs are stuck with DoomFever.
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That was an unsettling blend of Doom and Excel 95. It brought back memories. Can’t say they were particularly fond memories, but they were memories.
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Windows '95 – just like a Macintosh!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA…
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Seems somehow lacking in the sense of dread and stress that anyone forced to use Excel faces. Maybe if the level was populated with demons trying to kill you, all of whom wear Bill Gates’ face?
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I actually tried that one back in the day. I am old.
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Our team held a lot of middle-of-the-night Doom frag matches to wind down from hours of coding and debugging back in the day.
Was always wondering why the Excel installation footprint got so large. Here is part of it.
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my middle school had a “no game” rule in the library. ever.
they also assigned me a study hall in there, so thus started an arms race.
one by one they removed solitaire, minesweeper, etc and banned me for a week. eventually they removed all the games and locked it down with some kind of software.
only to find me playing pinball the next day.
they wiped the machine in front of me, then smirked. 2 mins later i was at it again
they promptly banned me for the rest of the year from all computers and threatened to have me charged with a crime for “hacking”, told me they’d call the fbi if it happened again, and blamed me for every virus their dumbasses opened in their email for the rest of my time there
my secret? i was activating the word 97 pinball game when they briefly looked away.
drove them fucking bonkers. i eventually showed one of the cooler teachers the trick and threatened to force the school to switch to wordperfect (word was on every computer in the school and if word got out it’d be madness, MADNESS! Pinball on ever screen!). told him if he didn’t push to get me unbanned i’d tell the whole school. thus started a long lifetime of engaging in convoluted manipulative behaviors to gain reasonable concessions from inept officials.
sorry teacher, but your contention it’s cool and good to read the same damn fear street books over and over but playing chess on the computer is bad is lacking in rigor. i reject your regulatory regime and substitute my own!
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What, you don’t like flight simulators?
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that was going to be my nagasaki
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The irony is that if they’d watched for even a minute or two they would have recognized that Word 97 pinball is practically without substance. It doesn’t even keep score.
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sometimes it’s about sending a message
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No, just properly aged.
I wasn’t a fan of M$ Excel for a long time. I remember when I found out about the Easter egg, the NPO I worked at was still using dial up, and it took me a while to get it to work. Oddly, I was underwhelmed by it at the time; I think I was expecting something more Doom like.
I cut my teeth on Apple Works and Lotus 1-2-3, and the shift from Lotus to Microsoft was a little like swapping all the controls on a car around. I think what I hated most was that I started having to use the mouse and contextual drop down menus to get things done, instead of quickly entering formulas and formatting from the keyboard.
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When you see through the illusion, you will realize that the hall of tortured souls is still there, every time anyone uses Excel.
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Oblig: http://windows95tips.com/
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Excel 4a was released, I was told, because Excel 4 had an Easter Egg animation of the Excel logo taking out the opposition. Did anyone see it?
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I loved Excel 97’s Flight Simulator.
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Speak for yourself. I love Excel and love making intricate spreadsheets. Yeah, I know, I’m weird. 
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I’d be curious how many MB and work productivity the easter eggs took up.
I’d bet that allowing developers to add their easter eggs boosts productivity: they’re going to work harder and take more pride in their workmanship if they can crown it with their easter egg. (There are very few easter eggs written in COBOL.)
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That’s awesome. No one caught on that it said “word 97 pinball” on the screen?
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