Morgellons Tesseract atop Trump's head peels off in high winds


Originally published at:


Honestly, this makes me feel sad for him. There are a few things I don’t make fun of someone about. Could Donnie stand to lose some weight? Yeah. I’m not going to get upset about a 71 year old being overweight and lying about it. Is he mostly bald? Yeah. Society puts a huge value on hair to the point some of us look silly with our hair styles hiding the fact that we are losing it. Some of us just will never look good shorn. I know that I look better with a shitty combover than I do with my pale psorasiasy skin showing.

So…why is it so hard to allow people to have the body positivy they choose and they styles they want even if they are inherently a shitty person? The minute you make fun of him, no matter how easy of a target he makes himself in all aspects of life, you are impugning others.

Oh yeah, body shaming is only a bad thing when we like the person.


What is this referencing?


and a squid eating dough in a polyethylene bag is fast and bulbous, got me?


I view it as more symbolic, rather than body shaming. Here’s a man who claims to be a “real American” and “genuine” but everything about him is fake.


I agree, and also, the time for gentle satire is long past. He labels Democrats “unAmerican traitors.” His hair isn’t the problem.




It isn’t body-shaming to mock Trump’s hair, because his hair is a sartorial choice. Moreover, it’s one that succinctly represents his personality, his nature.

He angrily raped his wife because her hair doctor fucked up his scalp and he’s since spent incredible amounts of time, money and, vicariously, legal effort to manage public perception of his hair. Yet the reality of it is right before our eyes: a mix of obvious failure in general and weird, uncanny success in the details.

If you reach out and grab Trump’s hair, as if to pull it off like a cartoon wig, you’ll fail. It’s a puzzle designed to confound human perception, carefully constructed to slip between the Euclidean geometry we cannot avoid in our understanding of its form. One would have to work for hours at it to unlock its secrets, a LeMarchand configuration of fiberglass batting. Yet nature and accident prize it open with a single gust.

This context will always inform mockery of it and concerned confusion that mocking his choice of hairpiece/style is a form of body-shaming. It’s a work of subtle genius, in it’s way, right down to how he dyes it a weird pale apricot-pink because he’s too impatient to leave the dye in long enough to turn it his natural ginger.

The thing is an avatar of his lies, as transparent as they are immaterial.


I view it in two overlapping lenses. One, he himself is such a fucking arrogant, self-centered body-shamer, so just deserts and all that. This, however, in and of itself might not be enough. Maybe if that was it, Anti-Trump America could pull it together and take the high road. Especially if he were just a run-of-the-mill Republican who just happened to be a sexist dick. However, overlaid with the second lens of him being a government-devouring neonazi and immigrant-murdering assclown, it makes us so exhausted and stressed we lose our will to be the better person.

It’s like that episode of Radio Lab where they had people hold large numbers in their heads while walking down a hallway, then a person holding a piece of cake and a fruit salad would walk by them, and they tested whether the stress would make them make an uncharacteristically short-sighted choice…


Also, this makes it look like you don’t have anything more important about him to make fun of… As if he wasn’t a moronic puss-filled shit-gibbon with no skills other than parroting back the basest hatred and fears. A man who got the GOP nomination at least in part because he is incapable of playing the “dog-whistle” and laid out his racist, sexist agenda right out in the open for all (especially those too stupid to hear the dog whistle) to hear.


I don’t see why he doesn’t shave it off. It wouldn’t look any more strange.

Edit: Okay, I know why. But, yeesh.


Good God man, just shave it all off and wear a proper fucking wig!

There’s no shame in being bald and thinking you look better with hair, but there’s all sorts of shame in having the bad taste to think that you look better with that monstrosity perched up there.


But it is. There are a lot of people that don’t think the body they were born in is the one they should be in and go to radical lengths to fix it. Not always to the success of folks judging them. I got to hear during the election of how the country was going to hell because one of the most successful olympic stars in my lifetime decided they did not care for their body and wanted to change it and how we needed to get back to traditional values.

How your body looks is often not a satorial choice. His clothing? Sure. I like shitty hawaiian shirts…make fun of them all you want. My hair? My body?

Jesus. As you say, there are far far far more things to mock this man for. That actually take intelligence and don’t demean others as collateral damage. But it is your site. Do as you want. Please add this to the list of things I’m disappointed with.


It’s donald fucking trump. I don’t need any apologies to lambast this selfish, eogtistical, fucking moral midget and emotional and intellectual infant. I laughed and I laughed when I watched this. And it’s true… the dramatic music makes it that much bettter.


No. Its not body shaming. His hair style choice is just like the rest of him - trying to cover up the truth. The extremes that he is willing to go through to cover his bald head are obscene, just like the rest of his persona.


You’re all but diagnosing Trump with body dysmorphic disorder to try and stay atop of the claim that mocking his hair is body-shaming! I mean, you can have it that way, and you might be right, but it’s not going to make me respect the rhetorical flambee it garnishes.


Semi-related, but interesting, the effect you mentioned in the Radio Lab story, Ego Depletion, actually has recently been controversial. A 2016 study tried to replicate the original experiment, with a little over 2000 participants, in multiple places around the world, and could not reproduce the first study’s success.


Like we ever stop!


As a trained therapist, I am most certainly NOT even close to diagnosing him. Diagnosis or not, it mocks people that do have these sort of issues.

Again, why take the low road? I do on occasion and friends hold me accountable when I do. And sometimes I push back. And later when things die down, I admit I was wrong and hope no one remembers. Ego sucks.

I love your site, and I probably agree with you on 99% of what you do. I love you man, and hope you have the best possible day (no sarcasm). I’m sorry I’m being an asshole about this, it just came off wrong to me. And as someone with a shitty head and only 3/4ths of the hair I should have, it hurts! :stuck_out_tongue:



Is that understood?