I would argue, then, that you don’t care about the victim.
I take it you see this differently. I can just invite you to think about it from the perspective of an assaulted and abused person who is never going to get any answer to any question in regard to why the fuck this happend, and what the fuck was wrong with this asshole.
Anyway, you made your point, and we’re not going to change the facts discussing this.
At 0300? Considering the set of people who might be pounding on the door at 0300, I would need a few minutes to get my boots on, grab a weapon and flashlight, slip out the back door and circle around from the side of the house, from which angle at least I could assess the situation and either get a jump on it or run instead of being trapped in the entryway. And I’m usually awake at that time, most people aren’t.
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The article is light on details about the boyfriend’s abusive behavior.
Its possible that the evidence is coming entirely from the girlfriend.
I say that because I know from experience that authorities (at leas the ones I interact with) have difficulty dealing with violent female partners. There is no gun in my house and its staying that way.
Dude, what?
“Confronting” somebody who has aggrieved you will not automatically make anything better. You can ask a question but you can’t make them answer it. If their behavior was hostile and harmful in the past then it’s foolish to expect anything different in the future.
We can’t even hear the doorbell from our downstairs bedroom. We live in a split-level house and about a week after we moved in, my daughter, whose bedroom is upstairs at the front of the house, called me to say there was someone with a flashlight wandering around the front yard and looking in our cars. Then she said they started ringing the doorbell.
It was a police officer who was apparently looking for a previous tenant but we didn’t hear a thing downstairs at the back of the house.
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So what? We’re talking about the victim’s needs. Stop making this about you.
Nobody said otherwise. Confronting an abuser can be as simple as getting the chance to say “You’re awful, get out of my life” without fear of reprisal. It’s not about redeeming them.
That actually happened to me the other night; I answered the door with a steel baseball bat in hand. The person ringing my bell was a drag queen looking for my downstairs neighbor.
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I don’t see the point in those word games. From the sound of the article he was her boyfriend and was abusive. If we refer to him as “the person who was once her boyfriend but can no longer be called that due to his abusive behaviour” it doesn’t improve the world in any way that I can see.
I would have to argue for the contrary, that allowing this false dichotomy to continue is a process of manipulation and desensitization in support of a misogynist stance that further buttresses a patriarchal society.
It’s very apparent that the victim is just that, a victim, and a prisoner. So then, what is he? An abuser? Yes. A perpetrator? Yes. A boyfriend?
Here’s a word for you: Gaslighting.
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