Mysterious doorbell ringer is now safe, boyfriend is dead

Originally published at: https://boingboing.net/2018/08/31/mysterious-doorbell-ringer-is.html

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And no one tried to help her. We kinda suck.

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where did you read that?

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That’s not really accurate, though. From the article:

“We were dead asleep in our beds. My husband was woken up by (the) doorbell ring(ing). It rang probably 20 to 30 times,” said one resident, who didn’t want to be identified.

When her husband answered the door, no one was there.

“He walked outside, no one was in sight. It’s like she disappeared in thin air,” the resident said.

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This was one of those “hope I’m not right about the assumptions I’m making” moments. Unfortunately, I was right. At least the abuser is no longer part of the equation.

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I’d probably call it that too. /s

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I’m just really glad it’s him and not her. Too often shit like this goes the other way.

(And, really, shit like this should never happen at all.)

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Thanks for identifying him with the correct word. I was coming here myself to point out that one ceases to be a boyfriend the moment one becomes an abuser. I call shame on law enforcement/news editors.

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I dunno, that sounds No True Scotsmannish.

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Being a Scotsman implies a permanent (or almost permanent) condition, yes? Being a boyfriend is often a temporary one, I think. It seems rather misogynist to me to have the two terms boyfriend/abuser conflated.

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20 to 30 times? How slow are these people to get out of bed? I suppose she got tired of waiting and went on to another house. ‘Disappearing’ and not being at the door when they finally get to it are very different things.

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The abuser is dead.
She is alive and won’t have to spend the rest of her life looking over her shoulder.
Best outcome we could hope for.

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I daresay she wasn’t waiting long between rings. It was the middle of the night. It’s going to take a while to even process what you’re hearing when you’re awakened from a dead sleep like that.

From my bedroom, even when I’m fully awake, it can take a minute to get all the way down to the door and corral the dogs well enough that it’s safe to open. A frantic person would probably have plenty of time to ring the bell a couple dozen times and run off.

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They are different things, but my comment was about, “No one tried to help her”. Well, yeah, they did. They seem surprised that no one was there, which makes me think that she was still ringing when he was on the way to answer the door. Or at least, they must have thought it reasonable that the person ringing the bell would still be there.

“And no one tried to help her. We kinda suck.”
She was playing “ding dong ditch” it seems. People did answer the door but she was not there. I’d not answer my door at 3 in the morning with someone hanging on the bell or pounding on the door myself, even with a gun in hand.

I would talk to them through the door and offer to call the police if they were in distress. But these days, I doubt I’d let even a child inside as the repercussions can be lifelong and you can end up on the wrong end of lawsuits or criminal proceedings far too easily these days and using a “damsel in distress” to get into a place is not unheard of. Or some about-to-go-apewhizz junkie wandering at random, pounding on doors. I’ve had that one happen.

Cold? Yes, but logical. Protecting my family comes before all else in a decision moment like that.

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I take it you are net elderly, arthritic, living in a multistory house or all of the above? It takes me about three minutes to get out of bed, get enough on to be decent and make my way downstairs to the door, thank you very much. And that’s if I am expecting a knock. At three in the morning, there’s be extra time to arm myself as I do not get social callers at that time of night.

Do not make the common youthful mistake that everything in the world works exactly for others as it does for you or that the way you are now is the way you will always be: Physically or mentally.

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Said it in the other thread, saying it again : I doubt it helps her in any way. He took the “easy” way out. From my experience, achieving closure often doesn’t work if the perpetrator can’t be confronted.

This whole thing is a mess. And I’m really, really sorry for that woman. The moment to ring that bell and nobody answers - hell. Going back to the house afterwards? Another circle of hell.

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I once ran from house to house in the middle of the night, banging on doors, because my house was on fire (many years ago). No one came to the door because they were all busy calling the fire department as soon as they woke up and saw the flames.

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Said it before, saying it again.
I don’t care about closure.
He isn’t going to hunt her down and kill her now.

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I don’t know about you, but if my doorbell starts ringing like a maniac at 2 or 3 in the morning, I’m throwing on pants, running downstairs, and then answering with at least some sort of bludgeoning tool. That may take a minute or two.

If it’s someone who needs immediate (less than 1-2 minutes) help, then they’re SOL. I’m not just going to randomly open the door and say, “come on in, my kid and wife are upstairs, hope you mean to do no harm…”.

I’d imagine that if she was running for help, even a short delay necessary for the homeowners to get mobilized enough or to take minimal measures to ensure the safety of their families (given the weirdness of the situation), probably seemed like forever to her, and she zipped off to wherever she disappeared to.

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